can we all just agree?

mamacita is nothing if not practical.

2011-12-28T22:40:00.001-08:00

brother bear and i are hanging out with mamacita when brother bear makes reference to this image:

me: "oh, mamacita, there's all these anti-piracy ads that say things like, 'you wouldn't download a car. why would you download a movie?'"

mamacita: "actually, i would download a car if i could."

if you say so.

2011-12-28T22:31:00.000-08:00

"when you see an octopus change texture on a rock, that's LIFE CHANGING, bro!"

it's time.

2011-11-27T21:51:00.000-08:00

"it's time," a love story from get up australia

i dated this dude* once.

2011-09-16T12:50:00.000-07:00

[serious, serious,] SRSLY, by tpick

"would you like to go for a bicycle ride?"
"uh, no, i'm going to be riding by myself, because i have to do particular stuff."

*not this dude in particular, but a dude who did go to bed at eight and who, when i brought him chocolate chip cookies i'd baked that afternoon, declined them because it was during road season. it didn't last long.

my current earworm

2011-08-17T01:58:00.000-07:00

i've continued to be freaked out by michelle bachmann's iowa straw poll win (i also keep imagining handfuls of actual straw being involved in this event.) bachmann freaks me out. even before i saw Bachmann-eyezed! but then i read what ed from gin and tacos wrote about it, and i started to feel a little bit better:

"The Ames (aka Iowa) Straw Poll is the dumbest event in politics by a country mile, even compared to legendary shitshows like CNN/YouTube debates, the Thanksgiving sparing of a turkey, and the national conventions.
...
The media have managed to turn this non-event – previously won by the likes of Pat Robertson – into a crucial barometer of candidate viability."

the whole thing is worth a read.

and when you're done with that (or before, if you prefer), please enjoy this video:

hot chip, "i feel better"

remember tim dechristopher?

2011-08-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

the university student who went to a BLM land aution and decided to bid on a bunch of properties to keep them out of the hands of oil and gas companies?

he's been sentenced to two years in federal prison and a $10,000 fine. his entire sentencing statement is truly worth reading:

Mr Huber [the prosecutor] claims that the seriousness of my offense was that I “obstructed lawful government proceedings.” But the auction in question was not a lawful proceeding. I know you’ve heard another case about some of the irregularities for which the auction was overturned. But that case did not involve the BLM’s blatant violation of Secretarial Order 3226, which was a law that went into effect in 2001 and required the BLM to weigh the impacts on climate change for all its major decisions, particularly resource development. A federal judge in Montana ruled last year that the BLM was in constant violation of this law throughout the Bush administration. In all the proceedings and debates about this auction, no apologist for the government or the BLM has ever even tried to claim that the BLM followed this law. In both the December 2008 auction and the creation of the Resource Management Plan on which this auction was based, the BLM did not even attempt to follow this law.

bachmann wins the iowa straw poll.

2011-08-13T17:31:00.000-07:00

with paul and pawlenty in second and third. this freaks me out. in somewhat related news, now seems as good a time as any to share this video:

gay barbarian horde glitters bachmann clinic

i guess that's just what happens when marcus isn't there to discipline them. somebody has to vacuum.

"White dudes, Punjabi music, and Marijuana...here is the result!"*

2011-08-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

"how to dance when you're high on life"
(daler mehndi's tunak tunak tun)

*this was my friend's dad's explanation of this video. apparently funny runs in the family; see hers at a likely story.

speaking of politicians and babies...

2011-06-29T17:01:00.001-07:00

did you know that bob gunderson's running for mayor? i read that he promises not to kiss any babies.

learn more about his vision for san francisco here.

you just tell 'em no, calmly but firmly, and they stop crying. apparently.

2011-06-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

obama magically quiets an angry baby

check out michelle's face at the end.

update: this isn't the first time obama's been good with a baby.

dear dudes on the bus,

2011-06-25T02:48:00.000-07:00

SCOOT OVER.

I DO NOT WANT TO CUDDLE WITH YOU.

unless you feel like subletting part of my seat (i'm open to reasonable offers—$2/stop? $1/minute? a reasonable flat rate of $20?), then stay the hell over on your side.

i don't care if you'd rather sit with your legs all splayed out like a dog sunning the spot where his balls used to be, or if you prefer to drape your arm around the back of the seat beside you. i'm sorry if you're lonely or if you never developed basic social skills, but not sorry enough to want you to let you touch me or invade my space.

QUIT IT.

hey bigots! y'all don't make any sense!

2011-06-17T16:25:00.000-07:00

kyra phillips and ~~noted social theorist~~ ~~child development expert~~ ~~accomplished clinical psychologist~~ former NFL player david tyree discuss same-sex marriage.

kyra is tenaciously logical, and it is awesome to watch.

hit-and-run kills 25 year old cyclist in santa cruz

2011-06-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

this is horrible.

from KSBW: Zachary Parke, who is not a UCSC student, was returning home at midnight from the campus after hanging out with friends, his mother April Parke said.
...
Another bicyclist found Zachary Parke's body at 8:05 a.m. on Wednesday and called 911.

police are seeking a burgundy/maroon infiniti or nissan with front end damage and a missing side-view mirror; call (831) 622-0511 or (831) 796-2160.

and please, please, please, be careful out there. drive slower. look where you're going. don't drive if you're intoxicated or if you're really tired.

ALSO: if you ever hit someone, STOP. STOP AND CALL FOR HELP. we'll never know what could have happened, but there were eight hours between the likely time of the accident and when another cyclist called 911. if you've hit someone, the very least you can do is make sure they're being attended to. i can't believe it's even necessary to spell that out.

parke leaves behind a mother, a sister, and a lot of friends. these people's lives will never be the same, and it didn't have to be this way. parke's boss remembers him. to those people: i'm so sorry this happened.

highly recommended

2011-06-06T00:19:00.000-07:00

bob dylan's "friday"

and the dunciad's elegant explication.

fun with search terms never gets old.

2011-06-02T15:45:00.001-07:00

"sled porn"

amazing.

the single best commentary on the end of the world:

2011-05-26T00:03:00.000-07:00

"it's just the kind of thing you want to hear about on a 'family radio'

'kids, lets listen to how you'll never have a future'

told by Randy the Rapture Demon"

thanks, danger!

happy mother's day!

2011-05-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

i hope you get to hug your mom, and the other important women in your life too. (i love you, mamacita!)

and don't forget, mother's day was not invented by hallmark, but instead created by julia ward howe, an abolitionist, as an anti-war observance inspired by the horrors of the civil war.

another gift from the internet

2011-05-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

"i must go, my hipster planet needs me"

this is not a post about osama bin laden.

2011-05-04T02:28:00.000-07:00

this is a post about a bull terrier, two baby goats, and milk pants.

Raw Milk Pants

i had forgotten that baby goats wag their tails when they're happy, but the little guy closest to the camera sure did help me remember about that.

a five year old, on eeyore

2011-04-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

"that would be scary if he had teeth. i wouldn't know how to imagine that."

great news!

2011-04-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

wondering exactly ~~how awful~~ what atlas shrugged, the movie, is really like? ed from gin and tacos has watched the movie for you! so now you don't have to.

the whole review is really worth reading. here's a just a sample:

Ayn Rand may be your favorite philosopher, but she is an appalling writer. Her novels call into question whether she ever met another human being let alone spoke with one. With absolutely no understanding of how narrative, plot, character development, or exposition work, Rand produces fiction that sounds like it was written in Urdu and translated into English with the least reliable free online translator available.

go!

this video is beautiful and might make you cry

2011-04-24T01:10:00.000-07:00

it gets better project: apple employees

see more videos here.

adorable doggy + cute boy + general silliness

2011-04-23T00:27:00.000-07:00

"Pinga" dancing hip-hop

i fail to see what the problem is.

2011-04-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

girl on the bus, talking on the phone: "he doesn't go to school, he doesn't have any hobbies, he just rides his bike all day."

heroism everywhere

2011-03-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

the dad: "tonight i went for a walk. you know how they have that wild mustang rescue?"

me: "yeah...?"

the dad: "well, i did some earthworm rescue of my own. i saved 'em from being squashed and i took 'em home for my compost bin. i'd imagine pretty soon we'll become a 501(c)(3) and start soliciting donations for our work."

options to help japan

2011-03-12T12:28:00.000-08:00

equal marriage rights: not just an abstract question

2011-03-12T12:13:00.000-08:00

courage campaign institute: ed watson and derence kernek on the importance of lifting the prop. 8 stay

california's prop 8, which took away the right of gay people to get married in the state of california, was a crushing political defeat for people who believe in equal rights. the california state supreme court is considering a challenge to prop 8, but not until after they take a six month summer ~~vacation~~—sorry, for judges it's apparently called a summer recess—and in that time, some people have gotten the idea that the ban on marriages while the court case is being settled should be lifted.

and here's one example of why. ed and derence have been together for forty years, but ed has alzheimer's disease and it's progressing quickly. he and derence want to get married before ed's health deteriorates further. note that this video might make you cry.

but i think it's really important to consider that forbidding gay marriages is impacting the lives of real people. it's not just a fascinating legal matter with vast social and political implications. depriving people of equal rights harms them and our society. and it's categorically the wrong thing to do.

more stories and the opportunity to submit your own here.

if i lived in japan, i'd watch entirely too much television.

2011-03-08T09:34:00.000-08:00

kittens in bowls!

(and don't forget this!)

i'm sure we can all agree.

2011-03-06T22:25:00.000-08:00

if you can't park it, you sure as hell shouldn't be driving it.

quiz time!

2011-02-27T18:57:00.000-08:00

sometimes the internet gives us mysterious gifts. like this picture. or this quiz. i don't know who made this, but i like their grasp on current events.

what a fun sixth birthday!

2011-02-24T21:48:00.000-08:00

angry birds birthday cake

how did you get in here?

2011-02-24T21:00:00.000-08:00

it’s always interesting to see the search results that lead people to c.w.a.j.a.?., and when i remember, i take a look. the overwhelming winner of this particular popularity contest, every single time, is a post about pincurls that i dashed off nearly five years ago that the internet seems to love. so there are lots of pincurl-related searches, like “bobby pin curls,” “how to sleep in pin curls,” “pincurls for long hair,” “pincurls long hair,” “pincurling long hair,” and “pin curls with curling hair” (and about a million other permutations of this search.)

but sometimes they’re way funnier. like “Don’t worry The internet is here,” which has come up more than once, “Land Before Time porn,” which makes me feel kind of weird, “all kinds of bears,” which i would also like to see, and “grafting paw paws techinique,” which i know i’m totally unqualified to comment upon. oh, and “don’t like that.” i understand. sometimes i don’t like that either.

dan deacon show=summer camp for grownups

2011-02-24T00:23:00.000-08:00

last night i went to a dan deacon show. i was tired. i am tired. lately, i have been tired. last night was no exception. there were some openers, so by the time it was dan's turn i was pretty tired and also tired of being stepped on and pushed by people way taller than me.

but then his set started, and it was really...fun. i've been to a lot of shows in my life, i think, and i like live music, but rarely have i had so much fun at a concert. a nice time, a good time, even a great time, but a fun time?

every now and then he'd give us directions (creating, for example, a dance contest where my side of the room had to "dance like jurassic park" and the opposite side was to "dance like what you wish the movie avatar was actually about.") and just about everyone enthusiastically went along with it (even when the activities involved kneeling on the beer-soaked floor.)

it was during the song where everyone was supposed to dance under the bridge made by the arms of a few volunteers, then emerge from the other side to add their own arms to the bridge that i really noticed it. i was outside, watching strangers dance beneath me when i had the strong urge to compliment them. and just as i was feeling pretty amused by that, someone said, "great job! thank you for being so strong for me!"

and all the dancing and activities and silliness really made me think of summer camp, and the many times that i've seen junior highers or high school kids who were too cool for everything forget about that and just have uncomplicated, unself-conscious fun.

it was great.

you know what i like?

2011-02-19T17:39:00.001-08:00

liberated billboards.

oh freecycle, you make me so curious sometimes.

2011-02-19T17:32:00.000-08:00

"I need some mesh bags, the kind used for onions and oranges. Color unimportant. The larger the better. Can pick up."

"We are looking for a small porcelaine dol, not more than 10 inches toll."

"OFFER: Eb Helicon.
This Eb Helicon needs bracing work, and spring work in the second valve."

CIVILIZATION COSTS MONEY: PAVED ROADS

2011-01-31T01:24:00.000-08:00

while there have long been people who don't think that they should have to pay taxes and who believe that there is too much government interference in the life of most americans, i am profoundly frustrated at the way that this sentiment is gaining popularity.

at least in part because of the continued presence of the ~~teabaggers~~ tea party in american political life, i keep reading about (and talking to) people who insist that "the government" meddles too much in their affairs and takes too much of their money.

recently i was talking to someone who had spent the last few years on unemployment, and whose spouse retired early from a federal job, receiving a substantial severance package. also, the federal retiree had always held the insurance for the entire family (they raised several children.) however, despite what seemed to me like several dramatic examples of interaction with the government being the only thing standing between them and total financial ruination, this person vehemently announced to me that the government had "no business" besides national defense, and expressed strong wishes toward a total cessation of all government activity not directly related to national defense.

and it has really gotten me thinking about this whole "no taxes, government bad" approach to policy. while few people actually enjoy paying taxes, rational grownups should be able to see that taxes are not, in fact, the result of a power-mad, bullying government stealing money from defenseless citizens, but actually a reasonable way to pay for things we want and need. markers of civilization, actually, which sounds hyperbolic at first but really isn't.

here's something that taxes pay for:
1. paved roads. i read a horrible article about a 23 year old woman in alabama who ran over a pothole and dislodged a chunk of highway that went through the windshield of the truck behind her and killed the woman in the front seat, who was riding with her husband and their two small children. no one was doing anything wrong; the first driver was cleared of any wrongdoing. she hadn't been speeding, she was driving safely, they road simply hadn't been maintained. the state says they can't afford it. now the first driver is wracked with guilt, and the husband is a widower, a single dad with two small kids. because there wasn't money for highway repairs.

so "tea party patriots," are you ready to volunteer your time for road crews? or should someone set up toll booths all over the place to fund roadwork? (followup question: should that be the government? or a private company collecting money? if a private company, will there be any oversight? how do you propose to supervise this effort without government involvement? does the mention of tolls constitute a "tax" that will get you all worked up?)

to be continued.

lack of context leads to unintentional hilarity

2011-01-31T01:14:00.000-08:00

frequently when i'm on the telephone with the nephews' mama, she says funny things. sometimes this is on purpose (she is a pretty funny lady, and we've known each other so long that we have plenty of inside jokes and references that wouldn't mean much to anyone else but that crack us up.)

and i like it when she makes me laugh intentionally, i really do.

sometimes much funnier, though, are the times when what she says is totally reasonable for the circumstances in which she finds herself (and the nephews), but totally hilarious to people (me) without the same context.

let me demonstrate:

"you guys can play baby all you want but you're not going to be in the fridge."

of course, since i'm a good friend, i try to support her parenting by not laughing loudly while she's disciplining the children.

sometimes i fail.

sometimes certain names work better in ad campaigns than others

2011-01-31T01:08:00.000-08:00

photographed by the ever-patient captain awesome (who never seems to mind when we're on the way somewhere and then all of the sudden i really want him to take a picture of something), and who comments: "christian cancer...is the worst kind."

dear flu,

2011-01-31T01:04:00.000-08:00

great news! you can go now.

never let anyone try to tell you that you won't learn about cartilaginous fish in astronomy class.

2011-01-29T18:08:00.000-08:00

tutor nick, on hammerhead sharks: "those guys can calculate distances much better than we can do because the eyes are so much further away."

i have recently had an important revelation about the future.

2011-01-07T00:41:00.000-08:00

flying cars are a terrible idea.

i know that they're supposed to represent the awesome inventions that science has in store for us and the triumph of technology and progress...but have you ever really stopped to think about it for a minute?

i did for the first time yesterday, when i was reflecting on how bad lots of people seem to be at driving their normal, non-flying cars. i've started riding my bike just about everywhere recently; i don't really drive much anymore (and when i do it's only a non-flying car) and riding the bus isn't usually much faster than riding my bike. and it costs money. and it doesn't burn calories. and it sometimes involves standing around outside for a long time.

all this time on my bike has given me a lot of chances to interact with drivers. and many of them are awful at driving. it's really helped me to appreciate the car-free parts of the city—i love the greenways and bike paths that make it possible for me to get places without much car traffic.

but it's also made me realize that we are far from ready for flying cars. can you imagine what it would be like? it's bad enough to have to deal with cars in the same plane as you when you're riding a bike—but from now on, when i have a close call with someone i'll remember: at least they didn't have the opportunity to crowd me from above!

science, i own you an apology. i'm sorry for being disappointed in you for all these years for your failure to produce flying cars. i think you really have our best interests at heart. please don't ever make flying cars happen, ever. teleportation devices, on the other hand, are long overdue.

"heartbeats" by the knife, or covered by josé gonzález: both excellent. happy new year!

2011-01-02T16:02:00.000-08:00

"heartbeats" the knife

"heartbeats" josé gonzález

i apologize for the inevitable ad for bp's youtube channel where you can watch lots of pr bs about how they're "making it right." do they really think we're that stupid?

free advice for bp: you "make it right" by actually making it right, not by spending millions of dollars on a media blitz in which you talk about making it right. thanks for ruining everyone's ocean.

bonus video because it is really fun and to avoid ending on a cranky note:

"heartbeats" josé gonzález and a lot of bouncy balls in san francisco.

open office has a superior sense of the absurd, or at least a very weird spellcheck matching formula.

2010-12-28T00:29:00.000-08:00

while unpacking a box tonight i found a list i started of bizarre open office spellcheck suggestions. at one time in my life i was trying to write papers for school using open office since i didn't have a copy of word. this actually turned out to be rather difficult; classmates couldn't open my attachments, i didn't have powerpoint, formatting was nearly impossible, and there was an exciting "crash for no good reason and don't save any changes" feature.

i hear that open office has gotten a lot more stable and user friendly these days, and i realize that free software has certain tradeoffs and i should be appreciative of what was available to me, but one night i was up really late working hard on a paper and i started to feel like spellcheck was messing with me on purpose.

this was the order in which spellcheck suggested these words. and i feel i should mention that each of these words were completely unrelated to the actual word i'd misspelled (or the term with which the open office dictionary was not acquainted)—like completely unrelated. like none of the same letters, and nothing approaching the same number of letters:

suboptimal (okay, that's a reasonable word at least)
buttermilk (funny because it's random)
electroencephalographic (what?)
parallelepiped (i give up.)

wisdom from b.f.h.

2010-12-27T23:12:00.000-08:00

i just received the following text message:

"I've learned the hard way that there is no cure for glitter herpes, all I can do is manage the outbreak."

ordinary conversations between children and their parents become funny when roles are reversed.

2010-12-27T21:19:00.000-08:00

walking home tonight, a friend and i passed a book store display. she pointed out the box of mad libs, and then behind us we heard the following exchange:

dad: "ooh! mad libs!"
kid: "you already have those at home."
dad: "but these are on sale!"
kid: "ugh."

belated happy blogday present

2010-12-26T22:43:00.000-08:00

so it appears that i missed c.w.a.j.a.?.'s blogday by six days. i'm a negligent blogger, sorry. but don't worry, c.w.a.j.a.?. i got you a present. i'm pretty sure this is the best picture on the internet right now.

i would like to give credit to whomever made this masterpiece of internet caption art, but since there are 250,000 search results for just watering the owl i don't think that's possible. thank you, mysterious internet caption art master. thank you all the same.

and thanks to you, dear reader, for reading and for commenting. this is still fun.

"MOST CAREERS PAY MONEY." (i love xtranormal bike videos!)

2010-12-10T18:56:00.000-08:00

"amy and steevo discuss thanksgiving"

oddly poetic spam

2010-12-10T18:46:00.000-08:00

it has been a long time since i really paid much attention to my spam folder, but very recently i've taken over a class right before their final (a situation somewhat akin to adopting a 17 1/2 year old) and i wanted to be sure that i didn't miss any messages from students.

so i was scrolling through all the offers for various drugs related to my manhood, and i saw this subject like: "halifax census antiquarian"

it seemed pretty enough to share with you all, but you're on your own if you're searching for v|aagr.a.

sorry.

earworm alert! or: that's really the only way to wish someone the best.

2010-12-03T00:08:00.000-08:00

cee lo green, "forget you"

cee lo green, "f*** you"

this song is stuck in my head most of the time these days (both versions, in case you were curious.) i thought i'd share the catchiness with you too. also, as a special bonus:

gwyneth paltrow on glee, "forget you"

what is cyclocross?

2010-11-29T20:51:00.000-08:00

i'm so glad you asked. i could tell you about it, but you'd enjoy reading this comic book-style explanation even more. check it out!

because i really like xtranormal movies about cycling

2010-11-29T20:43:00.000-08:00

your math joke for today:

2010-09-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

via icanhascheezburger, fibonacci pigeons. i'm pretty sure this is the san leandro bart station. they've got a lot of pigeons there, but sometimes there are dead ones stuck inside the anti-pigeon netting and i don't like that at all.

hooray! cyclocross season is here!

2010-09-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

"i like your kit"

yesterday was our team cross clinic, and today i definitely feel it. getting skinsuits on friday!

micmacs is a fantastic movie and you should probably see it soon

2010-06-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

captain awesome and i went to the movies the other night and thoroughly enjoyed micmacs. its french title is Micmacs à tire-larigot, which according to the internet means "non-stop shenanigans," and that seems like a pretty concise summary of the movie.

it was directed by jean-pierre jeunet, who also directed amelie, and it is similarly whimsical and many lovely colors of brown. (jeunet also directed a very long engagement, which is like amelie, right down to the audrey tautou but very sad; i would not necessarily recommend it to a friend unless that friend was in the mood for a movie that is depressing and beautiful.)

micmacs. check it out.

"and bars of gold, platinum or titanium."

2010-06-28T20:49:00.000-07:00

oh, freecycle.

"We are in need of a various items: Used Rice Cooker, PlayStation3 or Roku streamly digital DVD player,tv tuner, wireless router,used laptop who are in good conditions. If anyone has any of those and not in need we will appreciate it. Thanks."

i wish i had written down who said this.

2010-06-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

i'm getting rid of lots of paper clutter these days (woo!) and when going through a box just now i found a somewhat cryptic note. i have a dim recollection of someone saying this, but since the date at the top of the note is 8/06 i am not particularly surprised or disappointed that i don't actually remember the exact wording or who said it. something like:

so this supercollider that's going to end the world, this is my kind of disaster! not even bottled water can save you!

this seems like as good a time as any to remind you of the hugely useful site "Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet?"

the antidote to those awesome/horrifying big dog/little dog videos

2010-05-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

(50X) Autonomously folding a pile of 5 previously-unseen towels

while i know that robotics technology generally boils down to military-related applications, it's kind of cute to see this robot folding laundry.

also, the highest rated comment insults naysayers by quoting murray head's "one night in bangkok," which wikipedia calls "a sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek denunciation of the city's moral corruption and comparative glorification of the intellectual purity of chess: e.g., 'the queens we use would not excite you.'" "one night in bangkok" is also notable for being the last show tune to make into the top five most popular american songs. and it is from a musical about a chess match between an american and a soviet chess player. the 80's were really a different time. seriously.

one night in bangkok

the unbearable sadness of freecycle

2010-05-28T23:02:00.000-07:00

it is not always hilarious.

"several cat items, including unopened box of arm/hammer kitty litter, a long-term watering system (not auto), and some other items. belonged to my cat but moved out with the ex a while ago. Please take all."

emphasis on the heartbreaking part added by me.

somebody had better pick up this cat stuff soon!

let her in!

2010-05-28T22:48:00.000-07:00

a dream comes to fruition. in blog form. check it out.

freecycle is also good for free entertainment

2010-04-01T16:13:00.000-07:00

for a long time, this was the funniest freecycle post i've seen. then someone sent the following, which cracked me up for a few weeks:

"Unopened 2.2 pound bag of wasabi: It says "Super Hot" on the package"

this was surely about a boy, but it was a year and a half ago and consequently i have no clue who audra was talking about or what it means*

2010-04-01T16:06:00.000-07:00

"it may be overbaked, but it's not overbaked enough."

-audra

*i am, however, confident that it was good advice at the time.

sometimes audra quotes are even funnier when i write them down and then put the sticky note somewhere and then forget about it.

2010-04-01T16:00:00.001-07:00

me: "there are some boobies. wanna see it?"

audra: "OMG boobies. i'm offended by boobies. i have two of my own."

[i have no idea what i was talking about.]

we have solved the beer waste problem that occasionally accompanies beer handups. you're welcome.

2010-02-18T12:56:00.000-08:00

"hand up, hand down"

"it's connecticut for lieberman, not vice versa."

2009-12-07T23:27:00.000-08:00

careful readers of c.w.a.j.a.?. will remember that joe lieberman is among my least favorite politicians in the history of ever. and, as you might also recall, i'm pretty impatient with the lack of affordable health care in this country. lieberman is one of the jackasses who's really holding things up. today, however, i watched a video that explains things pretty well:

joe lieberman sucks.

professors say the darndest things

2009-12-07T23:24:00.000-08:00

one thing i will miss about this semester: having a class with the professor who explained, "david harvey? david harvey is like YODA."

support math and science education in a title i middle school with: But Where's the Spleen?

2009-11-28T15:01:00.001-08:00

have you ever wished that you could help a new math and science teacher at a middle school in a very challenging area make these subjects more accessible to her students? good news! here's a chance! a good friend of mine has a donors choose project that you can support! check it out:

But Where's the Spleen?

update: the project has been fully funded! yay! she's a great teacher, and i know this will help make her students even more successful.

update update: you can still check out donors choose if you're in the mood to support projects like this!

bad bread

2009-11-28T02:16:00.000-08:00

the other night captain awesome and i were walking down the street when we saw some felonious bread*. fortunately, someone had already taken steps to physically corral this anti-social set of slices, so i think we were safe from where we stood.

*obligatory legal disclaimer: it is possible that the bread had been wrongfully accused. still, it was dark and i was glad that we didn't have to find out the hard way that the bread was, indeed, dangerous.

for the very brave, here is a closeup. does it send a shiver down your spine?
thank you, captain awesome, brave photographer.

can we all just agree that the monkey wrench gang is an exceptional piece of literature?

2009-11-27T23:27:00.000-08:00

i loved this book so much. and here's a bit of it for you:

"A true autochthonic patriot, Smith swears allegiance only to the land he knows, not to that swarming bulge of real estate, industry and swarming populations of displaced British Islanders and Europeans and misplaced Africans known collectively as the United States; his loyalties phase out toward the borders of the Colorado Plateau."

-edward abbey, the monkey wrench gang p. 358

common problem, etc.

2009-11-27T21:43:00.000-08:00

"i'm intimidated by your giant meatleg!"

-audra

b.f.h. knows me pretty well

2009-11-25T19:38:00.000-08:00

a couple of months ago we were talking on the telephone. b.f.h. and i were both pretty tired and because of that she was saying exceptionally (but unintentionally) funny things. she told me that she was going to have to get off the phone, and i answered,

"why are you shutting off the faucet of this brilliance?"

she answered,

"cuz i'm afraid it will show up on a blog somewhere."

snakes are horrifying, but this story is nice.

2009-11-17T01:55:00.000-08:00

once upon a time at a zoo in tokyo there was a snake named aochan that stopped eating its frozen mice. the people who were in charge of feeding it decided to give it a live hamster to eat instead. to everyone's surprise, the snake and the hamster became best friends. the hamster is named gohan, which means snack. zookeepers say that the two appear to enjoy one another's company. i still don't like snakes. via the bbc.

dimensions of compatibility

2009-11-17T01:49:00.000-08:00

awhile ago i was commenting to captain awesome that i eat way better meals when i'm not eating alone. (which is true...i'm totally content to have a glass of milk and several chunks of cheese and half a bag of potato chips and some chocolate for dinner, but i'd never serve that to someone, ever.)

me: "if you weren't here, i'd probably have a chikpatty and tater tots for dinner."
captain awesome: "awww, sarah! you should have two chikpatties and tater tots! one is not enough!"

since it's still before thanksgiving, christmas songs are not appropriate. except for this one. this one is awesome.

2009-11-15T22:36:00.000-08:00

bhangra jingle bells

incredibly sad.

2009-11-09T22:14:00.000-08:00

karla lemon was a fantastic human being. san francisco chronicle obituary.

stolen bike!

2009-11-02T16:16:00.000-08:00

my friend suzanne's bicycle was stolen out of her garage in el cerrito, california. keep your eyes peeled!

it's a blue nishiki 10 speed, with black bar tape, front and back reflectors, and a silver bottle cage.

a bill with a public option! and, i have more thoughts on health insurance reform.

2009-10-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

harry reid has announced that he will introduce to the senate floor a version of the health insurance reform bill that includes a public option.

i think this is a great idea. if you agree, call/email/fax/write your senators and let them know you support it too.

i think the creation of a strong and affordable public option is really the only way to have meaningful health insurance reform. private insurance companies are not in the business to deliver high quality care; they want to make as much money as possible in order to meet their obligations to stockholders and to enrich top executives. that's their right, i think.

but at the same time, health insurance is not something most people can safely or comfortably do without. i understand that it seems unappealing to some folks to think about their tax dollars paying for someone else's care, but i believe that this sort of investment in one another is part of living in a civilized society. and sometimes it doesn't seem fair.

like we think of the things that we don't personally use, or haven't used for a long time. for example, i rarely drive but my taxes go toward massive maintenance projects for highway systems. i haven't taken advantage of a public school district in a decade, but my rent is increased to pay property taxes that go to OUSD. but when i do drive, i'm sure grateful for safe highways. and i definitely benefited from two public school districts at one time. am i paying for things in proportion to my use for them? definitely not. but there are also the fringe benefits associated with living in a place where the people around you have access to safe roads and the opportunity for a good education. i think we as a society are strengthened by social goods like education and infrastructure, and access to proper care.

there's also the matter of corporate profits. we may feel like we're saving money in taxes if there is no additional burden to pay for health care, but if we are paying hundreds or even thousands of dollars a month to private companies that may or may not allow us treatment that keeps us alive when we need it, is that better? what if we consider the part of that money goes to bonuses and advertising and massive executive salaries? (the CEO of united healthcare west makes $57,000 an hour. an HOUR.)

consider firefighting (another social good we all pay for that only some of us use.) right now, if a person's house catches on fire, they call 911 and the firefighters come, rescue the person's family, make sure the fire's out, and go. and those shiny trucks and skilled first responders aren't free—our tax dollars pay for them. and firefighting services are a public good. what if there were a bunch of different fire companies and you had to sign up with one, usually through work because it would be too expensive otherwise, and send them your premium each month...and then when it was time to call 911 you found that they weren't actually coming because they decided not to cover your fire?

i think a fine for not carrying insurance is totally insane, since many people who are uninsured would like to be but can't afford it. and i think private insurance companies should be allowed to continue to exist, but i do think that a government-run program for which everyone is eligible (like medicare, but for those under 65 too!) is the only viable solution.

and it's way past time. strong public option now.

some thoughts on health care reform.

2009-09-24T23:05:00.000-07:00

•when you consider that we already have socialized bookshelves (libraries), socialized learning places (public schools), socialized fire protection (your local fire department), socialized security forces (police departments), socialized letter and package delivery systems (the u.s. postal service), socialized road fixing (caltrans, at least here in california), socialized environmental monitoring (the e.p.a.), and socialized medicine for old people already (medicare)...socialized medicine for everybody just doesn't seem so unreasonable.

•i've read the gospels quite a few times and i still can't find the part where jesus says that the man found by the good samaritan shouldn't have been lazy enough to not have a job with good coverage and lucky enough not to have a carrier who dropped him when his treatment got expensive.

•if health insurance companies are already doing such a great job, why should competition from a public plan endanger them in any way?

•on this issue (and probably this issue alone) i am turning into a total laissez-faire economics cheerleader. move over thomas friedman, it's my turn to high five the invisible hand! natural competition in the market solves everything!

•if we were to get a public option and you didn't like it, you wouldn't have to use it. that's why the public option is called the public option, not the public mandatory.

•rep. alan grayson is a total badass and i would like to give him a hug and bake him a cake and probably give him a kiss, but only if he would like it and only on the cheek. WATCH THIS OMG HE IS SAYING THE THINGS I'M THINKING BUT HE IS ON TELEVISION:

Rep. Grayson on the Situation Room

•if you want to contact rep. alan grayson and tell him that he is the best ever, you can do so here.

•if you want to contact your congresspeople and ask them why the hell they can't be more like rep. alan grayson, you can do so here.

•stephen helmsley is a bad person (but he's not the only one. anyone who makes their fortune denying care to sick and injured people is, in fact, a bad person):

Greedy Insurance Companies—Unscrupulous United Healthcare CEO Stephen Hemsley

•it's taken me a long time to get around to writing about this. i don't feel like this post represents my best work, or my clearest or best organized thinking about health care reform. but i'm tired. tired, and furious and terrified. i just weathered another coverage-related fiasco, and i'm doing fine now (properly covered, going to get reimbursed for some stuff i needed but couldn't easily afford, etc) but it was a really scary couple of months. yes, months. with terrible nightmares. i'm publishing this in spite of its failure to meet my usual capricious standards because i think it's important, but i've really gotten to the point where, when i'm trying to talk to someone who is arguing against health care reform, all i hear these days is, "sarah, i don't actually care if you die."

my suspicions have been confirmed.

2009-09-14T00:27:00.000-07:00

cantaloupe is the best shower snack ever. as we've already established, shower snacks are a wonderful idea after a lot of bicycle riding, but not all foods are well-suited for shower snack candidacy.

cantaloupe, however, is a perfect shower snack. let me tell you why:

1. it is delicious.
2. it is full of sugar and water, two of the things that you need after a long ride (and i suppose that you could salt it if you wanted to. and also sprinkle it with protein powder, making it the ultimate recovery food.)
3. it is actually more enjoyable to eat in the shower. due to the aforementioned delicious sugar and water, cantaloupe is pretty sticky in a non-aquatic environment, requiring the use of a utensil if you are one of the perfectly reasonable people who really prefers not to be sticky in most situations. in the shower, though, cantaloupe juice on your hands can just be rinsed off! it is perfect!
4. it is full of vitamin A and vitamin C and also potassium.

some people have wine cellars...

2009-09-14T00:17:00.000-07:00

i have a gatorade cellar.

special note to brother bear: those three on the bottom right (you know, the ones that are colored like actual natural substances) are actually recharge.

another way of thinking about voting on same-sex marriage

2009-09-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

"Sinead's Hand," from MarriagEquality (Ireland)

[did i tear up? yes i did.]

i really wish i knew what movie this was.

2009-09-06T18:24:00.000-07:00

during the first week of school i was walking down the hall behind two boys and this is what they said to each other:

boy 1: "did you see the trailer?!? that shit's raw; that shit's hella raw."
boy 2: "it made me wanna cry...and like eat a pretzel."

dear brain,

2009-09-01T21:23:00.000-07:00

what? why? how on earth did you come up with this song to play in my head? i think it's been twelve years since i saw this particular episode of south park and i'm pretty sure i haven't seen it or thought of it since.

this is why we forget people's names two seconds after we hear them.

eric cartman's german dance. seriously, wtf?

margaret atwood is wise.

2009-08-31T15:45:00.000-07:00

"Most mothers worry when their daughters reach adolescence, but I was the opposite. I relaxed, I sighed with relief. Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized."

-margaret atwood, cat's eye, p. 129

because i didn't want the "nerd party" label to get lonely:

2009-08-29T16:22:00.000-07:00

i am so happy to be in school. i am so happy to be in classes where i get to read sentences (that is a single sentence, dudes!) like this:

"But the point is that between what Ryle calls the "thin description" of what the rehearser (parodist, winker, twitcher . . .) is doing ("rapidly contracting his right eyelids") and the "thick description" of what he is doing ("practicing a burlesque of a friend faking a wink to deceive an innocent into thinking a conspiracy is in motion") lies the object of ethnography: a stratified hierarchy of meaningful structures in terms of which twitches, winks, fake-winks, parodies, rehearsals of parodies are produced, perceived, and interpreted, and without which they would not (not even the zero-form twitches, which, as a cultural category, are as much nonwinks as winks are nontwitches) in fact exist, no matter what anyone did or didn't do with his eyelids" (Clifford Geertz, "Thick Description: Toward an Interpretive Theory of Culture," in The Interpretation of Cultures: Selected Essays by Clifford Geertz), 7.

life advice from clifford geertz

2009-08-29T16:04:00.000-07:00

yeah, he was a distinguished cultural anthropologist, but i've just dicovered that "Thick Description: Toward an Interpretive Theory of Culture*," which appears in "The Interpretation of Cultures" also contains some reasonable advice for life:

"Eclecticism is self-defeating not because there is only one direction in which it is useful to move, but because there are so many: it is necessary to choose" (5).

you're welcome.

*a pdf, but free if you need to get your nerd on. i understand.

riding a lot makes everything way more awesome.

2009-08-25T01:16:00.000-07:00

i'm pretty good at appreciating eating and sleeping times, but especially in the last few weeks, as i've returned from ecuador and had time to be more focused on riding, i have become an eating and sleeping superstar. i'm not just hungry anymore, i'm ridiculously hungry, and whatever i'm eating is the best food ever*. and at bedtime (or, um, during the afternoon sometimes) i'm not just sleepy, i'm super sleepy, and i've been sleeping better than ever (which is amazing.)

*"best food ever" does not always apply to energy bars/sports fruit snacks. those are just excellent.

agreed, sometimes.

2009-08-22T23:27:00.000-07:00

"Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened."

-margaret atwood, cat's eye, p. 240.

yo tampoco / me neither

2009-08-22T23:24:00.000-07:00

leido en un pared en quito, ecuador: "no soy gordita horrorosa"

/

read on a wall in quito, ecuador: "i am not a horrifying little fat one"

i'm not entirely sure that will help.

2009-08-13T21:32:00.001-07:00

"i'm gonna look up the venus nipple, cuz you're making fun of me!"

-audra

i may never frost a cupcake with a knife again as long as i live.

2009-08-13T00:01:00.001-07:00

a few years ago i received a fantastic birthday present from some of the most excellent (and craftiest) friends i have. it was a bunch of baking supplies—a frosting knife that is vaguely reminiscent of a magic wand, a set of silicone baking cups with legs, a cupcake display stand that reminds me of a chandelier...and a frosting applicator that definitely resembles a caulk gun.

i've used the frosting knife a lot, and the cupcake tree too, but not the baking cups or the frosting applicator. i'm kind of afraid of putting anything as plasticky as silicone into the oven, to be honest, and the frosting applicator seemed like a lot of effort.

the other day, though, i was making cupcakes for my gardensitters (who kept things alive and happy while i was in ecuador, yay!) and i had some time, so i decided to try the frosting applicator. and this is what happened:

(i'm pretty sure the blurriness is due to waves of deliciousness emanating from this cupcake.)

as these photographs clearly indicate, these cupcakes are approximately 1000% more delicious than they would have been if they had simply been frosted with a knife, even my perfect funny shaped frosting knife or the magic wand-looking one.

frosting applicators are totally worth the trouble.

arrest made in sf hit and run

2009-08-12T23:45:00.000-07:00

the driver who hit andrew bennett and his four year old son robby has turned herself in. streetsblog, which has been covering this story from the beginning (i'm pretty sure it still hasn't turned up in the chronicle), has the update.

the short version: she's 16, and she's facing felony hit-and-run charges. robby bennett is still processing what happened, although his only physical injuries were abrasions. andrew bennett is seeing lots of doctors to try to heal from his broken back.

yes, yes you did.

2009-08-12T23:35:00.000-07:00

"i made her exhale like a pony container!" -b.f.h.

internet, help catch a hit-and-run driver who hurt a 4 year old and broke his dad's back.

2009-07-03T00:41:00.000-07:00

yesterday a woman ran a red light and hit a father and his four year old son who were riding their bicycles on a green. the father's back is broken. his son is not seriously injured, thank god.

don't depend on the police to find the driver. there were witnesses who left before the cops arrived, and we need to find them. help find her.
---
Contact Andrew Bennett at (415) 939-4700 OR mailandrewbennett@gmail.com with any information on the below.

Hit and Run of Two Cyclists, One aged Four, at 18th And Valencia

On Wednesday, July 1st 2009 at 11:30am a Silver PT Cruiser sped through at red light going westbound on 18th across Valencia in the Mission District of San Francisco.

This vehicle struck an adult riding a grey steel frame bicycle which had a blue childrens add on tandem bike ridden by a four year old boy. The cyclists were traveling through the intersection on the green light going northbound on Valencia at 18th street, July 1/2009 at 11:30am

The driver sped up to run a red light causing severe injury to at least one of the cyclists.

Many people witnessed the accident and gave aid, several said that they got a plate # but when SFPD interviewed, the only people present had incomplete information. It is believed that witnesses with complete info left the scene believing that those remaining had complete info.

Unless more information is gained, the driver will not be found. If you witnessed this accident, or know someone who did, please, please come forward by contacting Andrew Bennett at (415) 939-4700 OR mailandrewbennett@gmail.com AND by calling the SFPD hit and Run Unit at (415) 553-1641. Case Number 090669569 (ask for Inspector Custer).

One of the cyclists has a fractured spine. We need your help in bringing the driver who hit a father and son and left the scene to justice. An injury to one is an injury to all.

david rees is awesome.

2009-07-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

by now, i hope you are aware of the excellence of david rees. he started writing get your war on shortly after september 11, and i am not exaggerating when i say that g.y.w.o. was a key part of my continued post september 11-existence. it's already starting to seem like a distant memory to me, but for the record, 9/2001-1/2009 were some pretty messed up times to be alive. g.y.w.o. said what i was thinking, but in cleverer ways and with a lot more profanity (a lot more), and reassured me that i wasn't the only one who was running out of ways to explain how disgusted i was with my country. for that i will be forever grateful. brother bear and i were talking about this the other night, in fact:

sarah: i have such a crush on david rees
a celebrity crush
he's married and all
but i was just looking at gywo the other day
and thinking about how that was seriously and truly one of the things that got me through the entire bush clusterfuck
i will tell my grandchildren that some day
"granny why does this comic book have so many curse words and no funny jokes?"
"THAT BOOK MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO BE HERE TODAY. SIT DOWN AND I WILL EXPLAIN ALL THE REFERENCES TO YOU UNTIL YOU CLAIM YOU HAVE TO PEE AND THEN SNEAK OUT THE BATHROOM WINDOW."
brother bear: heh heh

anyway, you should go look at g.y.w.o., and also its friends, my new fighting technique is unstoppable, my new filing technique is unstoppable, and adventures of confessions of st. augustine bear. there is a handy link over there in the sidebar to his website, where you can find all of these comics, order books (seriously, do it!), and learn more about the mine detection and removal team in afghanistan that he's been supporting ever since he started making money from g.y.w.o.

and also, david rees has recently written a very thought-provoking article, asking a question that's been at the forefront of everyone's minds these days: "Is Mark Sanford America's First Emo Governor?"

i hope you get a chance to look at that too; rees presents a pretty compelling case.

i also encourage you to watch this talk by david rees, delivered at columbia university in 2005. if you don't have time for all 70 minutes, watch the first few, where he thanks his sponsor, the thomas friedman metaphor illustration service. it made me laugh until i cried the first time i saw it. (granted, it was 2005 and we were all under a lot more stress, but still, the point is, it is funny.)

summer reading: mario vargas llosa's death in the andes

2009-06-27T12:42:00.000-07:00

the dad picked this book up for me at a sidewalk sale and sent it to me when i got back from perú. and it is excellent.

i was waiting to read it until after the semester ended, because i suspected it might be one of those books that kept me up until 4:00 in the morning, and i was correct.

death in the andes is beautiful and horrifying and confusing and fascinating. and it makes me really miss perú.

you should definitely read it.

keep calling on this kid

2009-06-27T12:38:00.000-07:00

last sunday the pastor asked the kids why their dads were special. the best answer:

"he lets me eat spam and rice-a-roni that my mom doesn't like!"

song of the moment

2009-06-18T13:10:00.000-07:00

cocorosie, "werewolf"

cocorosie is super weird, it's true. this is the song i can't get enough of at the moment. if you find yourself in a similar position, you can download both "werewolf" and "rainbowarriors" here.

eight hundred!

2009-06-18T13:09:00.000-07:00

free movie advice:

2009-06-14T00:10:00.000-07:00

if you are going to watch "let the right one in," which is a dark and disturbing and gory and beautiful swedish movie (shocking, i know), you really ought to consider making sure your viewing companion is way braver than you so that she or he can tell you what you missed when your eyes were both covered and closed (and in certain extra-serious circumstances, when you were also hiding your entire face), and also when it is safe to open your eyes again.

thank you, garden!

2009-06-12T15:38:00.000-07:00

the year's first zucchini.

lots of lettuce.

a juicy lemon.

two amazing sugar snap peas (i ate the other one directly after cutting it.)

an artichoke from the most delicious artichoke plant on earth.

more to come.