mamacita is nothing if not practical.

brother bear and i are hanging out with mamacita when brother bear makes reference to this image:

me: "oh, mamacita, there's all these anti-piracy ads that say things like, 'you wouldn't download a car. why would you download a movie?'"

mamacita: "actually, i would download a car if i could."

if you say so.

"when you see an octopus change texture on a rock, that's LIFE CHANGING, bro!"

it's time.

"it's time," a love story from get up australia

i dated this dude* once.

[serious, serious,] SRSLY, by tpick

"would you like to go for a bicycle ride?"
"uh, no, i'm going to be riding by myself, because i have to do particular stuff."

*not this dude in particular, but a dude who did go to bed at eight and who, when i brought him chocolate chip cookies i'd baked that afternoon, declined them because it was during road season. it didn't last long.

my current earworm

i've continued to be freaked out by michelle bachmann's iowa straw poll win (i also keep imagining handfuls of actual straw being involved in this event.) bachmann freaks me out. even before i saw Bachmann-eyezed! but then i read what ed from gin and tacos wrote about it, and i started to feel a little bit better:

"The Ames (aka Iowa) Straw Poll is the dumbest event in politics by a country mile, even compared to legendary shitshows like CNN/YouTube debates, the Thanksgiving sparing of a turkey, and the national conventions.
...
The media have managed to turn this non-event – previously won by the likes of Pat Robertson – into a crucial barometer of candidate viability."


the whole thing is worth a read.

and when you're done with that (or before, if you prefer), please enjoy this video:


hot chip, "i feel better"

remember tim dechristopher?

the university student who went to a BLM land aution and decided to bid on a bunch of properties to keep them out of the hands of oil and gas companies?

he's been sentenced to two years in federal prison and a $10,000 fine. his entire sentencing statement is truly worth reading:

Mr Huber [the prosecutor] claims that the seriousness of my offense was that I “obstructed lawful government proceedings.” But the auction in question was not a lawful proceeding. I know you’ve heard another case about some of the irregularities for which the auction was overturned. But that case did not involve the BLM’s blatant violation of Secretarial Order 3226, which was a law that went into effect in 2001 and required the BLM to weigh the impacts on climate change for all its major decisions, particularly resource development. A federal judge in Montana ruled last year that the BLM was in constant violation of this law throughout the Bush administration. In all the proceedings and debates about this auction, no apologist for the government or the BLM has ever even tried to claim that the BLM followed this law. In both the December 2008 auction and the creation of the Resource Management Plan on which this auction was based, the BLM did not even attempt to follow this law.

bachmann wins the iowa straw poll.

with paul and pawlenty in second and third. this freaks me out. in somewhat related news, now seems as good a time as any to share this video:



gay barbarian horde glitters bachmann clinic

i guess that's just what happens when marcus isn't there to discipline them. somebody has to vacuum.

"White dudes, Punjabi music, and Marijuana...here is the result!"*

"how to dance when you're high on life"
(daler mehndi's tunak tunak tun)

*this was my friend's dad's explanation of this video. apparently funny runs in the family; see hers at a likely story.

speaking of politicians and babies...

did you know that bob gunderson's running for mayor? i read that he promises not to kiss any babies.



learn more about his vision for san francisco here.

you just tell 'em no, calmly but firmly, and they stop crying. apparently.

obama magically quiets an angry baby

check out michelle's face at the end.

update: this isn't the first time obama's been good with a baby.

dear dudes on the bus,

SCOOT OVER.

I DO NOT WANT TO CUDDLE WITH YOU.

unless you feel like subletting part of my seat (i'm open to reasonable offers—$2/stop? $1/minute? a reasonable flat rate of $20?), then stay the hell over on your side.

i don't care if you'd rather sit with your legs all splayed out like a dog sunning the spot where his balls used to be, or if you prefer to drape your arm around the back of the seat beside you. i'm sorry if you're lonely or if you never developed basic social skills, but not sorry enough to want you to let you touch me or invade my space.

QUIT IT.

hey bigots! y'all don't make any sense!

kyra phillips and noted social theorist child development expert accomplished clinical psychologist former NFL player david tyree discuss same-sex marriage.

kyra is tenaciously logical, and it is awesome to watch.

hit-and-run kills 25 year old cyclist in santa cruz

this is horrible.

from KSBW: Zachary Parke, who is not a UCSC student, was returning home at midnight from the campus after hanging out with friends, his mother April Parke said.
...
Another bicyclist found Zachary Parke's body at 8:05 a.m. on Wednesday and called 911.

police are seeking a burgundy/maroon infiniti or nissan with front end damage and a missing side-view mirror; call (831) 622-0511 or (831) 796-2160.

and please, please, please, be careful out there. drive slower. look where you're going. don't drive if you're intoxicated or if you're really tired.

ALSO: if you ever hit someone, STOP. STOP AND CALL FOR HELP. we'll never know what could have happened, but there were eight hours between the likely time of the accident and when another cyclist called 911. if you've hit someone, the very least you can do is make sure they're being attended to. i can't believe it's even necessary to spell that out.

parke leaves behind a mother, a sister, and a lot of friends. these people's lives will never be the same, and it didn't have to be this way. parke's boss remembers him. to those people: i'm so sorry this happened.

highly recommended

bob dylan's "friday"



and the dunciad's elegant explication.

fun with search terms never gets old.

"sled porn"

amazing.

the single best commentary on the end of the world:

"it's just the kind of thing you want to hear about on a 'family radio'

'kids, lets listen to how you'll never have a future'

told by Randy the Rapture Demon"

thanks, danger!

happy mother's day!

i hope you get to hug your mom, and the other important women in your life too. (i love you, mamacita!)

and don't forget, mother's day was not invented by hallmark, but instead created by julia ward howe, an abolitionist, as an anti-war observance inspired by the horrors of the civil war.

another gift from the internet

"i must go, my hipster planet needs me"

this is not a post about osama bin laden.

this is a post about a bull terrier, two baby goats, and milk pants.


Raw Milk Pants

i had forgotten that baby goats wag their tails when they're happy, but the little guy closest to the camera sure did help me remember about that.

a five year old, on eeyore

"that would be scary if he had teeth. i wouldn't know how to imagine that."

great news!

wondering exactly how awful what atlas shrugged, the movie, is really like? ed from gin and tacos has watched the movie for you! so now you don't have to.

the whole review is really worth reading. here's a just a sample:

Ayn Rand may be your favorite philosopher, but she is an appalling writer. Her novels call into question whether she ever met another human being let alone spoke with one. With absolutely no understanding of how narrative, plot, character development, or exposition work, Rand produces fiction that sounds like it was written in Urdu and translated into English with the least reliable free online translator available.

go!

this video is beautiful and might make you cry

it gets better project: apple employees

see more videos here.

adorable doggy + cute boy + general silliness

"Pinga" dancing hip-hop

i fail to see what the problem is.

girl on the bus, talking on the phone: "he doesn't go to school, he doesn't have any hobbies, he just rides his bike all day."

heroism everywhere

the dad: "tonight i went for a walk. you know how they have that wild mustang rescue?"

me: "yeah...?"

the dad: "well, i did some earthworm rescue of my own. i saved 'em from being squashed and i took 'em home for my compost bin. i'd imagine pretty soon we'll become a 501(c)(3) and start soliciting donations for our work."