you just tell 'em no, calmly but firmly, and they stop crying. apparently.

obama magically quiets an angry baby

check out michelle's face at the end.

update: this isn't the first time obama's been good with a baby.

a five year old, on eeyore

"that would be scary if he had teeth. i wouldn't know how to imagine that."

what a fun sixth birthday!

angry birds birthday cake

lack of context leads to unintentional hilarity

frequently when i'm on the telephone with the nephews' mama, she says funny things. sometimes this is on purpose (she is a pretty funny lady, and we've known each other so long that we have plenty of inside jokes and references that wouldn't mean much to anyone else but that crack us up.)

and i like it when she makes me laugh intentionally, i really do.

sometimes much funnier, though, are the times when what she says is totally reasonable for the circumstances in which she finds herself (and the nephews), but totally hilarious to people (me) without the same context.

let me demonstrate:

"you guys can play baby all you want but you're not going to be in the fridge."

of course, since i'm a good friend, i try to support her parenting by not laughing loudly while she's disciplining the children.

sometimes i fail.

ordinary conversations between children and their parents become funny when roles are reversed.

walking home tonight, a friend and i passed a book store display. she pointed out the box of mad libs, and then behind us we heard the following exchange:

dad: "ooh! mad libs!"
kid: "you already have those at home."
dad: "but these are on sale!"
kid: "ugh."

support math and science education in a title i middle school with: But Where's the Spleen?

have you ever wished that you could help a new math and science teacher at a middle school in a very challenging area make these subjects more accessible to her students? good news! here's a chance! a good friend of mine has a donors choose project that you can support! check it out:

But Where's the Spleen?

update: the project has been fully funded! yay! she's a great teacher, and i know this will help make her students even more successful.

update update: you can still check out donors choose if you're in the mood to support projects like this!

margaret atwood is wise.

"Most mothers worry when their daughters reach adolescence, but I was the opposite. I relaxed, I sighed with relief. Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized."

-margaret atwood, cat's eye, p. 129

arrest made in sf hit and run

the driver who hit andrew bennett and his four year old son robby has turned herself in. streetsblog, which has been covering this story from the beginning (i'm pretty sure it still hasn't turned up in the chronicle), has the update.

the short version: she's 16, and she's facing felony hit-and-run charges. robby bennett is still processing what happened, although his only physical injuries were abrasions. andrew bennett is seeing lots of doctors to try to heal from his broken back.

internet, help catch a hit-and-run driver who hurt a 4 year old and broke his dad's back.

yesterday a woman ran a red light and hit a father and his four year old son who were riding their bicycles on a green. the father's back is broken. his son is not seriously injured, thank god.

don't depend on the police to find the driver. there were witnesses who left before the cops arrived, and we need to find them. help find her.
---
Contact Andrew Bennett at (415) 939-4700 OR mailandrewbennett@gmail.com with any information on the below.

Hit and Run of Two Cyclists, One aged Four, at 18th And Valencia

On Wednesday, July 1st 2009 at 11:30am a Silver PT Cruiser sped through at red light going westbound on 18th across Valencia in the Mission District of San Francisco.

This vehicle struck an adult riding a grey steel frame bicycle which had a blue childrens add on tandem bike ridden by a four year old boy. The cyclists were traveling through the intersection on the green light going northbound on Valencia at 18th street, July 1/2009 at 11:30am

The driver sped up to run a red light causing severe injury to at least one of the cyclists.

Many people witnessed the accident and gave aid, several said that they got a plate # but when SFPD interviewed, the only people present had incomplete information. It is believed that witnesses with complete info left the scene believing that those remaining had complete info.

Unless more information is gained, the driver will not be found. If you witnessed this accident, or know someone who did, please, please come forward by contacting Andrew Bennett at (415) 939-4700 OR mailandrewbennett@gmail.com AND by calling the SFPD hit and Run Unit at (415) 553-1641. Case Number 090669569 (ask for Inspector Custer).

One of the cyclists has a fractured spine. We need your help in bringing the driver who hit a father and son and left the scene to justice. An injury to one is an injury to all.

keep calling on this kid

last sunday the pastor asked the kids why their dads were special. the best answer:

"he lets me eat spam and rice-a-roni that my mom doesn't like!"

beautiful.

although obama has not magically fixed all of america's problems and ensured a pony in every yard and cupcakes in every lunchbox, he is presently off in the middle east and europe not alienating and insulting everyone. which is cool, and somewhat of a departure from the approach of a certain recent american president.

and then there's this photograph.

this exchange took place a few weeks ago, i guess, when the young man pictured was visiting the white house. he wanted to know if obama's hair felt "like his" (a pretty reasonable question, especially for a little guy who is plenty old enough to notice these kinds of differences.) this is obama (right) bending down so that his guest (middle) can feel it for himself. and me (not pictured) getting teary.

via.

the nephews' mama is made of strategy.

"you have to decide, choose your days when you feel like scraping peanut butter out of the folds of somebody's ear."

well, if you say so.

the kids i babysit really like to play a game with grapes wherein one eats most of the grapes on ones small bunch and then asks someone else what kind of vehicle it represents, based on the number of grapes that remain (these correspond to the number of wheels on the vehicle, so four is a car, three is a tricycle, etc.) this is what transpired tonight:

three year old: [holding up a stem with two grapes left] "what is this?"

me: "a bicycle."

three year old: [holding up a stem with one grape left] "what is this?"

me: "a unicycle."

three year old: [holding up a stem without any grapes left] "what is this?"

me: "a sled."

three year old: [looking at me with a mixture of disgust and pity] "IT'S A REINDEER."

sometimes the only answer is no answer.

five year old, conversationally: "well, you know mr. skippy with his pineapple bottom."

preschoolers are excellent scientists.

it is dinner time, and mom has left us with the usual instructions: those who eat good dinners can have dessert. she had time to tell us what constituted a good dinner, which is lucky for the kids because her ideas of a good dinner are much more lenient than mine.

five year old, holding up an orange slice and pointing at the peel with exaggerated wide eyes: "do we have to eat even THIS part?"

i knew that he was being silly, and i answered, "no. that part isn't very good to eat." i was just about to tell them about orange zest and its applications for recipes (because i love that part of hanging out with kids! the hey-here's-a-thing-i-know! part!) when i was interrupted by the almost four year old, who made a horrible face and announced very seriously: "YOU ARE RIGHT."

and i admire that kind of commitment to hypothesis testing, i really do.

truly, individual perception is an incredible thing.

the almost-four year old had chosen guava juice for her dinner drink. the five year old was definitely not on team guava.

five year old: "i've had guava juice before, and it tastes like...[looks warily over to me, sees that i'm paying attention]...it tastes like...[looks at me again, trying to decide if it's worth getting in trouble for using "bathroom talk" in his quest to describe the flavor of guava juice]...like...[realizes that i'm not going to let him get away with a scatological comparison]...WOOD.

almost-four year old, immediately: "no. to me it tastes like PRINCESSES."

evil/evil genius/genius?

tonight, in the thanksgiving-crowded grocery store (where just about everyone, my fluey self included, was kind of on edge.)

kid: "i have to go to the bathroom!"

mom: "you have to go to the bathroom?"

kid: "yes!"

mom: "do you want to look at the candy first?"

vote no on proposition 4 (again.)

in november 2006 i wrote this about proposition 85, which can be seen as the parent of proposition 4. (proposition 73 is the grandparent, i suppose; anti-choicers have been trying to force through a parental notification law in california for a long time) [i only changed the proposition numbers and the date references; the rest is vintage 2006 c.w.a.j.a.?.]:

so two years ago, california voters rejected prop 85. and this year, i hope we reject prop 4 as well. it's a law that would require parental consent for all minors seeking abortions. and it's a bad plan. in a super ideal world, no minors would have to seek abortions, period. (you know, that world in which no one is ever a victim of sexual assault, and all birth control is 100% efffective? that super ideal world.) in an ideal world, all minors would be able to talk to their parents and those parents would be supportive, emotionally and financially, if a minor decided to seek an abortion.

but here's the thing: we don't live in either of those worlds. sometimes girls can't talk to their parents about needing an abortion. because sometimes their parents would kick them out of the house, or kill them, or force them to keep a baby they didn't want and couldn't care for. and sometimes, those dads or stepdads are the fathers of the babies, or those moms or stepmoms are the ones who knew that girls were being raped and didn't stop it.

so seriously, california voters, think about this. sometimes girls will not be safe, and cannot get what they need, from their parents. awesome for you and your kids if that isn't your situation. but realize that this isn't the case for everyone. think of the girls who can't talk to their parents. and vote no on prop 4. it's a horrible idea, just like props 85 and 73 were two and three years ago, respectively. no on 4.

and there you have it. the bottom line is this: not all girls can safely tell their parents that they are pregnant. although proposition 4 provides an option for girls to seek a waiver from a judge, that is an unacceptable solution. the last thing a scared, pregnant girl needs is to have to navigate our legal system and then be forced to justify herself before a judge, who may or may not decide that she has to tell her parents because he finds her explanation why she can't uncompelling.

oh. also: making it harder for teenagers to have abortions isn't going to reduce the number of teenagers having abortions. it will just reduce the number of teenagers having saving, legal abortions. if prop 4 passes, more girls will turn to unsafe methods, and their lives will be in danger. no on 4.

the presidential race, in photographs.

option one: obama. this man clearly knows his way around a baby. it looks to me like he participated in the raising of his own children. he's got great technique. of note:

the butt support
that baby's firmly anchored to his tummy. it isn't going anywhere.

the upper back/neck/head support
this baby is too tiny to be held without supporting its upper half, and obama's doing a great job with that.

the look
he's into it. you can't fake that kind of appreciation for a tiny person.

the stance
he's standing so that baby can still see mama, just in case the baby's not as into obama as i am these days.

i am impressed.


option two: mccain. dude has no idea what's going on. he's uncomfortable and confused, he's making other people miserable, and he has no idea how to hold a baby.

i'll say it: sarah palin is a terrible mother.

1. she knew her seventeen year old daughter was pregnant when she was offered the vice presidential nominee slot. her choices: say no, and keep her daughter's major life issue more or less an alaska matter; say yes, and make her daughter's pregnancy international knowledge.

her desire for her own political career trumped her desire to care for and protect her own child. unacceptable.

2. she was in texas when her water broke, but instead of going directly to the hospital, she gave a speech as planned, then took a commercial flight back to alaska, where she then drove 45 minutes to a regional medical center. any woman whose water breaks needs to go to a hospital or call her midwife immediately. particuarly since palin already knew that hers was a high risk pregnancy, there is absolutely no excuse for her failure to go to the hospital. 30% of newborns with down syndrome require immediate surgery for a potentially fatal congenital heart defect. quite simply, she endangered her son's life by:

1. not going to the hospital right away;
2. getting on an airplane;
3. taking a long flight back to alaska;
4. driving to a medical facility with a relatively low level of capability for dealing with newborns with special needs.

i've seen a number of strong, independent women tying themselves in knots over sarah palin. these women hate the idea of feeling like something they think or say is demeaning to another woman who has chosen to have a career and a family. i have future aspirations in at least one of those areas, and possibly both.

but nothing excuses the way she has treated her eldest daughter and her youngest son. on a personal level, she has failed.