fun with search terms never gets old.

"sled porn"

amazing.

how did you get in here?

it’s always interesting to see the search results that lead people to c.w.a.j.a.?., and when i remember, i take a look. the overwhelming winner of this particular popularity contest, every single time, is a post about pincurls that i dashed off nearly five years ago that the internet seems to love. so there are lots of pincurl-related searches, like “bobby pin curls,” “how to sleep in pin curls,” “pincurls for long hair,” “pincurls long hair,” “pincurling long hair,” and “pin curls with curling hair” (and about a million other permutations of this search.)

but sometimes they’re way funnier. like “Don’t worry The internet is here,” which has come up more than once, “Land Before Time porn,” which makes me feel kind of weird, “all kinds of bears,” which i would also like to see, and “grafting paw paws techinique,” which i know i’m totally unqualified to comment upon. oh, and “don’t like that.” i understand. sometimes i don’t like that either.

this may be my favorite ever search that returned c.w.a.j.a.?.:

"danger mayonaise"

your question makes me concerned. or jealous.

the search that led someone here: "what does it mean when your heart races in the shower?"

my answers:
a) it means that you need to go to the doctor.
or
b) it means that you're showering with someone really, really fun.

more answers to your questions:

q: "cornchips or chocolate?"

a: yes.

more answers to your questions.

"how do i get less cranky"?

besides accidental brother bear-created haiku? bicycles, ice cream, naps, and cheese. good luck.

i've got 99 problems,

but dang, dude!

"ex=girlfriend is a REAL WITCH turned me into a dog"

(i have a hard time imagining that this actually happened to anyone. that is all.)

keep asking, and i'll answer eventually / sigue preguntando, y contestaré eventualmente

for you, the translation of "labios compartidos" / para tí, el traducción de "labios compartidos"

my love, if i am under the swing of your legs,
if i am sunk in the swing of [your] hips,
this is heaven, it's my heaven.

AMOR MIO SI ESTOY DEBAJO DEL VAIVEN DE TUS PIERNAS,
SI ESTOY HUNDIDO EN UN VAIVEN DE CADERAS,
ESTO ES EL CIELO, ES MI CIELO.

escaped love, you you take me, you leave me, you squeeze me and you throw me aside,
you go to other skies and you return like the hummingbird,
you have me like a dog at your feet.

AMOR FUGADO, ME TOMAS, ME DEJAS, ME EXPRIMES Y ME TIRAS A UN LADO ,
TE VAS A OTROS CIELOS Y REGRESAS COMO LOS COLIBRIS,
ME TIENES COMO UN PERRO A TUS PIES.

once more my foolish mouth, returns to fall on your skin,
your mouth returns to me and causes,
i return to fall, from your breasts on your pair of feet,

OTRA VEZ MI BOCA INSENSATA, VUELVE A CAER EN TU PIEL,
VUELVE A MI TU BOCA Y PROVOCA,
VUELVO A CAER, DE TUS PECHOS EN TUS PAR DE PIES,

shared lips, divided lips, my love,
i can't share your lips, that share the deceit, and share my days, and the pain,
already i can't share your lips,
oooh love, oooh love...shared.

LABIOS COMPARTIDOS, LABIOS DIVIDIDOS, MI AMOR,
YO NO PUEDO COMPARTIR TUS LABIOS, QUE COMPARTO EL ENGAÑO, Y COMPARTO MIS DIAS, Y EL DOLOR,
YA NO PUEDO COMPARTIR TUS LABIOS,
OOOH AMOR, OOOH AMOR...COMPARTIDO.

mutant love, friends with rights [friends with benefits, to all you english-speakers out there] without the right to have you always,
and i always have to wait patiently, the piece that i touch of you,
lightening of alcohol, the voices only cry in the sun
and in my mouth in tortured calls you undress, angel fairy, later you leave.

AMOR MUTANTE, AMIGOS CON DERECHO Y SIN DERECHO DE TENERTE SIEMPRE,
Y SIEMPRE TENGO QUE ESPERAR PACIENTE, EL PEDAZO QUE ME TOCA DE TI, RELAMPAGOS DE ALCOHOL, LAS VOCES SOLAS LLORAN EN EL SOL
Y EN MI BOCA EN LLAMAS TORTURADA TE DESNUDAS ANGEL HADA LUEGO TE VAS.

once again my foolish mouth, returns to fall on your skin of honey
your mouth returns to me, hurts, i return to fall from your breasts to your pair of feet.

OTRA VEZ MI BOCA INSENSATA, VUELVE A CAER EN TU PIEL DE MIEL
VUELVE A MI TU BOCA, DUELE , VUELVO A CAER DE TUS PECHOS EN TUS PAR DE PIES.

shared lips, divided lips my love, i can't share your lips,
that share the deceit and share my days and the pain,
already i can't share your lips, that a ray breaks me [this is similar to the english phrase, "cross my heart and hope to die"] that i am buried by forgetting, my love,
but i can't share your lips anymore, share your kisses, shared lips.

LABIOS COMPARTIDOS, LABIOS DIVIDIDOS MI AMOR, YO NO PUEDO COMPARTIR TUS LABIOS,
QUE COMPARTO EL ENGAÑO Y COMPARTO MIS DIAS Y EL DOLOR,
YA NO PUEDO COMPARTIR TUS LABIOS, QUE ME PARTA UN RAYO, QUE ME ENTIERRE EL OLVIDO, MI AMOR,
PERO NO PUEDO MAS COMPARTIR TUS LABIOS, COMPARTIR TUS BESOS, LABIOS COMPARTIDOS

i love you with all of my faith without measure,
i love you even though you are shared,
your lips have control.

TE AMO CON TODA MI FE SIN MEDIDA,
TE AMO AUNQUE ESTES COMPARTIDA,
TUS LABIOS TIENEN EL CONTROL.

i love you with all of my faith without measure,
i love you even though you are shared,
and you continue with the control.
TE AMO CON TODA MI FE SIN MEDIDA,
TE AMO AUNQUE ESTES COMPARTIDA,
Y SIGUES TU CON EL CONTROL.

more on c.w.a.j.a.?. about "labios compartidos" / más en ¿p.e.d.a.?. acerca de "labios compartidos":
the excellence of maná / la excelencia de maná
general comments and meaning / comentarios generales y significancia

ask (repeatedly), and i'll probably get around to answering.

"how do you say 'stupid' in spanish?"

"tonto," if the person, object, or concept to which you are referring is masculine. "tonta," if the person, object, or concept to which you are referring is feminine.

"estupido" and "estupida," while tempting quasi-cognates, are far stronger and more offensive than "stupid," and should be avoided by beginners at insulting things in spanish. don't rush into it; you've got your whole life and a fantastic array of profanity and insults ahead of you.

ha ha ha ha seriously?

"drunk doodlebop pics"

i think the doodlebops are ridiculous enough already* without being drunk. but don't worry; the fact that there are about 1,890 search results for that particular phrase suggests to me that you're not the only person looking for them.

*but who knows? this could just be sour grapes, since i am not, in fact, one of the doodlebops.

but where is the comma?

"just agree you will have a hug" is a pretty solid search term for fun with. but it really makes me wonder: is it, "just agree, [and subsequently] you will have a hug," a manipulative yet potentially very effective bargaining strategy? or is it the more last-ditch-flavored, "[if you're not going to agree to anything else,] just agree you will have a hug"?

this is probably not the best answer*.

"what to say to a guy tha i have a crush on"

"i have a crush on my bicycle"

*even if you are me, and it is true.

no, don't worry. there's no such thing.

"can i get sick from eating too much goats cheese?"

news that made me choke on a delicious microwaveable bean and cheese burrito.

if a person googles "how can i get the ladies," how not to get the ladies. a tutorial in two acts. is result number six! ridiculous.

that would be such a good band name.

"MINOTAUR SPORTSCAR"

thanks, dude.

why? why! why.

"ginger spam cassarole."

sometimes the answers to your questions are painfully obvious.

"are pincurls cool?"

sometimes i really, really wish i knew the answers to your questions.

"can goats hiccup?"

sometimes i don't even understand your questions.

"what is a cultural word that starts with y?"

good luck.

because i'm still amused by your search terms...

"a diagram of how to do your hair like a movie star" (c.w.a.j.a.?. is google's #2 result)
if i could draw you a picture of you getting trims every once and awhile, finding shampoo and conditioner that really work for your hair (super moisturizing ones are totally essential to my hair health and happiness), and using a lot of bobby pins when you want it to be up, i would. but i'm tired. you'll have to use your imagination.

"reasoning behind narcoleptic daschunds" (c.w.a.j.a.?. is google's #3 result)
duh, jesse totally already explained this one. science.