Wednesday, August 06, 2008

can we all just agree that children's interpretations of the bible can be hilarious?

i know we've already established that three year olds know a lot about science, specifically natural history, but tonight the five year old turned to me while he was brushing his teeth and earnestly explained,

"one time when people were blind, jesus put dirt into their pants, and he peed in it."

he wasn't joking around at all. he was totally serious. i guess that's what two days of vacation bible school will get you these days.

my blog report on "Bike Snob NYC" by sarah.

my blog report on "Bike Snob NYC"
by sarah.

Bike Snob NYC is like a big collection of inside jokes about cycling. at first, one may be confused by some of the more obscure references, but with continued reading, you'll figure them out. besides, who can't get behind some good, old-fashioned hipster-hating?

also, Bike Snob NYC can function as a great learning tool for newer cyclists. making fun of people (or reading about someone making fun of people) is clearly more engaging than flashcards, for example, but darn it if i haven't solidified my bike anatomy knowledge since i started reading Bike Snob NYC. also, the Indignities of Commuting by Bicycle posts are particularly fantastic.

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Monday, August 04, 2008

i am so happy to be back to ridiculous dreams.

because for the past few weeks, my dreams have been horrifying. the kind of dreams that take hours (or even days) to start to forget, and the kind of dreams that cause me to wake up terrified and already in tears.

but not last night! last night i dreamed that i still worked at that one job (okay, that part was pretty crummy) but, amazingly enough, the office building was way, way nicer, my cornucopia of nasty bosses seemed much less involved...oh, and also: morrissey was one of my co-workers.

yeah. that morrissey.

i have no idea what his job actually was, or really what he was doing there at all. he didn't really seem to talk to any of the people who worked there, and none of us really talked much to him. i think my co-workers were all either in awe of the fact that we worked with morrissey (i was!) or totally indifferent to him. (believe me, that office was chock full of indifference...to everything, pretty much, which apparently, at least when i'm asleep, extends even to morrissey. crazy.)

having ridiculously handsome co-workers is generally pretty great, i think (seriously dudes, look at him!) but apart from being ridiculously handsome, morrissey (who, for some reason, went by "moz" in my dream [his attempt at traveling incognito?]) clearly didn't take anything about our office seriously.

he came to work sometimes, but not on any kind of reliable schedule, and definitely not on time. and for some reason, he had his own office (in both real life and my dream, this job was located in a mess of a cube farm, and quite a few people had desks crammed into a shared space that was clearly originally intended for only one person.)

and he smirked at everything. he was always very kind to anyone who managed to summon the courage to say hello or to try to make small talk (which we rarely did,) but it was totally obvious that he was completely unafraid of our bosses.

and when he did actually come to work, it was common knowledge that he spent most of his time on the internet listening to music. he didn't make any attempt to hide this fact, and would occasionally leave himself logged in to various music sites on public computers in the building (to show how much he wasn't intimidated by the abusive management, who, for some reason, seemed to generally leave him alone? to encourage us to be brave too? to suggest new music to us? who knows?)

anyway, it was a pretty funny dream, and it almost made up for the yucky dreams that i also had last night. i had the morrissey-as-co-worker dream last, fortunately, so that's the one that's stuck in my head this morning. (sorry, housemate! i sure did tell you this story when you were just trying to brush your teeth this morning, didn't i? ah, the occupational hazards of living with sarah in the morning time.)

in conclusion, despite a poor work ethic where soul-crushing administrative work is concerned and a particular aura of celebrity unconducive to office-based camaraderie, morrissey is likely an awesome co-worker owing to his physical attractiveness, tendency to simply ignore terrible bosses, and kindness toward fellow employees.

and now you know.

mates of state has all the good pickup lines:

"i thought you were alright / but i wouldn't die / without you by my side"
-mates of state, "the law"

i tried to find you a movie of this song, but i couldn't. maybe tomorrow.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

i like this song very much. i hope you like it too.

tonight was the first time that i saw the video for it, and i'm not sure how much i like it. i recommend listening to the song without watching the video, at least at first, because it's bizarre enough already.



coco rosie, "rainbowarriors"

Friday, August 01, 2008

my blog report on "Donkey Punch." by sarah.

my blog report on "Donkey Punch"
by sarah.

i started reading "Donkey Punch" because of the comments that t4toby, its author, regularly leaves at "Sadly, No!" they are witty and insightful without being mean, and i was happy to see that "Donkey Punch" is the same way. t4toby writes a lot about american politics, with a particular eye to the future and what we can do to try to make it in this scary world. he's not very optimistic about our prospects for survival, but his concerns are totally reasonable, and i think that talking about it is much better than ignoring it. and the comments tend to be worth the read too.

"Donkey Punch" will make you laugh, teach you some things, and maybe, just maybe, help you find ways to approach the future. go see.

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dan savage may be moving in on jesse danger's scientific fact dispensing, but jesse danger can give relationship advice too!

"if you dont fall in love within the first week - sarah - it's not worth it
move on"

take that, scientific fact stealer!

grandkids in the movies



grandkids in the movies

my blog report on "I Punched a Flower in the Face"

my blog report on "I Punched a Flower in the Face"
by sarah.

"I Punched a Flower in the Face" is written by jesse danger, who i believe (at the risk of sounding like a high school yearbook) to be one of the funniest friends i have ever had. ever. in my entire life. he also gives good advice and, although he is generally polite to strangers (being minnesotan and all, doncha know,) he will definitely give off an imma-cut-you vibe to people if they push you around at a rock and roll show. trust me on this one.

"I Punched a Flower in the Face" tends to have short posts, and jesse danger seems to specialize in observations about life in the city. also scientific facts. definitely check out the scientific facts. they're scienterrific!

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because good advice without context becomes funny advice:

b.f.l.: "i've been thinking a lot about it...you need to be much more firm, and then make exceptions later in the week."

Thursday, July 31, 2008

my blog report on "Sleep is the new sex." by sarah.

my blog report on "Sleep is the new sex."
by sarah.

"Sleep is the new sex." is an excellent place to go for bicycles, movies about bicycles, good jokes, politics, boys, pictures, and...yes...the occasional little bit of cranky. i think it might be c.w.a.j.a.?.'s cousin or something. meh-wee-uhn, the author of "Sleep is the new sex." sometimes sends me fantastic movies. and she is wonderful.

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Friday, July 18, 2008

can we all just agree that dan savage is almost as good of a scientist as jesse danger?

in his most recent column, dan savage answers a letter from someone who's heartbroken over an ex-girlfriend. as he usually does, dan gives the poor guy some good advice [time will fix you right up; see other people], which includes:
Did you know that every ounce of another woman's saliva that you swallow, TOH, shaves a week off the healing process? It's a true and totally scientific fact. I distinctly remember reading it in the Science section of the New York Times this morning.
this is impressive science, naturally, but i still think jesse danger's got him beat when it comes to the science.

my blog report on "Running Commentary on Not Much" by sarah.

my blog report on "Running Commentary on Not Much"
by sarah.

"Running Commentary on Not Much" could be more accurately called "Running Commentary on Bicycles and Bicycle-Related Ridiculousness, With Some Other Funny Observations and Also Good Advice on Fenders and How to Use Them." but i suppose i understand why it isn't—that would unfairly omit mention of the computer jokes.

"Running Commentary on Not Much" will make you laugh, and you also might learn something about bicycles. or read a ridiculous story. check it out!

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reasons to vote republican

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

my blog report on "There is a Cheerio in my fan..." by sarah.

my blog report on "There is a Cheerio in my fan..."
by sarah.

[note: this will remind the attentive reader very much of my blog report on "So This is Motherhood..." because it's pretty much the same thing. what can i say? she's still whip-smart, damn near unflappable, and a great cook. also, she gives good advice. the nephews' mama is great!]

"There is a Cheerio in my fan..." is written by the nephews' mama, who is whip-smart, damn near unflappable, a great cook, and who has one of the healthiest senses of humor i've ever seen on anyone. this is particularly amazing when one considers the fact that her constant (and i mean constant!) companions are the nephews, who are twenty months and thirty-four months old, respectively. the nephews are hilarious and clever and adorable. and, like all kids, they occasionally try a person's patience. the nephews' mama takes it all in stride, and somehow finds time to write about it too.

she also quilts and tears out blackberry vines. not joking. in addition to wonderful stories about the nephews (who are, in my unbiased opinion, THE BEST DUDES EVER!!!), you can enjoy her observations about life in a small town (think somewhere between mark twain and de toqueville...you won't be disappointed.)

in conclusion, "There is a Cheerio in my fan..." is excellent and you should go read it.

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can we all just agree that pineapple chunks and cottage cheese is an excellent combination?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

jesse danger explains hipster fashion.

jesse danger: "god there were some nastified haircuts
i was wondering about the conversations that went on before they got there
'no I can look worse than you'
'oh yeah? watch THIS!'
'look what I'm doing with the curler'
'oh yeah look what im doing with highlights'
people actually try to look hideous in this area
i mean - people do it by accident and because of laziness in the midwest
that i can respect
but here they actually go out of their way to look gross"

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

my blog report on "very small rain" by sarah.

my blog report on "very small rain"
by sarah.

"very small rain," a project of alan wiig, is an eclectic collection of beautiful photographs, passages from books, and observations on modern life. alan is an excellent photographer and has good taste in literature. he loves california in a way that more people should—unselfconsciously, and with an unflinching commitment to deconstructing the false narratives of its past, present and future. he's also a geographer, a map librarian, a talented bicycle mechanic, and a damn good friend. go see.

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this is one way to deal with your crummy landlord.

for the record, i like my landlord a lot. but i know some people who don't like theirs. and they want to tell you all about it:

934 Shotwell

Sunday, July 06, 2008

jesse danger knows about all the interesting careers

me: "but really, can anyone sincerely be expected to keep up with [name of friend who has many gentlemanfriends] and his gentlemanfriends?
i think not"
jesse danger: "it would take a crack team of at least a dozen skankamticians"

Saturday, July 05, 2008

my blog report on "THE ADVENTURES OF THE GREATEST PAWS!" by sarah.

my blog report on "THE ADVENTURES OF THE GREATEST PAWS!"
by sarah.

THE ADVENTURES OF THE GREATEST PAWS!
is pretty excellent. it is written mostly by some cats. canadian cats. their names are monchi and eloise. since i recently learned from the internets that canadians are a brave and noble people, i don't see why canadian cats should be any different. monchi occasionally writes an advice column, and he is very responsive to the needs and concerns of his readers. monchi and eloise also have a human, rachael, who is fun to write email to, and she has participated in at least one international craft exchange.

THE ADVENTURES OF THE GREATEST PAWS! is a wonderful source for all your cat picture needs. (people in need of dog pictures will also find some of those as well.) THE ADVENTURES OF THE GREATEST PAWS! isn't updated very often, but there are a few years worth of archives that should keep you busy for awhile.

in conclusion, THE ADVENTURES OF THE GREATEST PAWS! is funny and informative, and is sure to be appreciated by those who enjoy photographs of cats, dogs, and donkeys.

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