Monday, February 27, 2006

can we all just agree that kids still say awesome things?

yes yes, this (and the links contained within)

but also today, when we were talking about careers, and the following exchange took place:

grownup: so, can anyone think of a career they might like to have? a job you would want when you're a grownup?

kid: a doctor.

grownup: great! you would be an excellent doctor. how about you?

other kid: a princess.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

can we all just agree that there's nothing quite like an ice cream sandwich?

especially if it contains high-quality ice cream, and if it's cold enough outside to eat it slowly without it melting all over? hooray.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

can we all just agree that voice-activated automated telephone systems suck?

i dislike pretty much everything about them.* the contrived "real"-sounding speech patterns, sometimes complete with faux stutters ("h-hang on. i'm looking that up." "ah, okay." "now, what is it you'd like to do?"), the fact that it often can't understand me (seriously, i don't really have much of an accent), and especially the way that i'm repeatedly asked, "are you there? i can't hear you. could you repeat that?" until i'm holding my phone directly to my mouth and SHOUTING MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND CREDIT CARD NUMBER, AUTHORIZATION CODE, AND EXPIRATION DATE AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. ahem.

*the only thing i like is that if you've called that number before, you can sometimes remember what prompt to say in order to talk to a real live human. but sometimes if you say it too soon, it bounces you back to the beginning of the message. curses!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Thursday, February 16, 2006

can we all just agree that hanging out with kids provides some amusing ego checks?

like the other day, when i was out at recess being the yard duty for the playground (i have to put people on the bench sometimes. sometimes they cry. it's tough, but that's the way the cookie crumbles...it's just not safe to climb up the slide, you know?) and all of the sudden, out of the blue, five or six kids are dashing toward me, and then they all collide with me and each other and everyone wraps their skinny little arms around my waist (they are pretty darn short), and then they look up at me and giggle.

and i think, "wow! they're awesome! how did they know that today is a day when i could really use some seven year old hugs?"

and then i realized, "ah. they're playing tag, and i'm base. nevermind."

Monday, February 13, 2006

can we all just agree that mayonaise is disgusting?

i've had a long love/hate relationship with mayonaise, and for the last couple of years i've been eating the amusingly named nayonaise (like mayo, but less gross because there's no actual egg involved), but tonight i was at the chain grocery store near my house, which does not carry fake mayonaise, and i was contemplating the mayonaise section, trying to decide whether i thought mayonaise is too gross to buy, even though i usually like it within the greater context of a sandwich, and then i saw, among the salad spreads and light mayonaise and flavored mayonaise and mayonaise in squeezeable packages...mayonaise in a container which was the same size and shape and even color of a giant tub of vaseline. UGH.

then i had to leave the aisle.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

can we all just agree, reluctantly if necessary, that sudoku is a really addictive game?

because my cranky refusal to try the game just didn't seem like the right response a few weeks ago, when someone who was trying to make me feel better offered me the puzzle from the newspaper...so i did it once. and then again.

and then last weekend, several more times.

and i just now got my best time ever.

and now i want to try to beat it.

sigh.

update: i totally beat it! i came close to halving it, which either means that i'm really getting good, or that i was really awful to begin with, and i'm approaching mediocrity. either way, i'm pretty happy.

update #2: i just ranked in the top 8% for my time on that puzzle. woo!

update #3: now i'm in the top 3%. sheesh.

update #4: top 2%! i'm unilaterally awarding myself the "biggest nerd of today" award, which is kind of reckless when you consider that it's not even 1:00 pm yet.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

can we all just agree that kids say awesome things?

because they say things like this, and this, and because today, a second grader with whom i was playing catch started laughing hysterically (and holding her belly while doing so) and she said, "SARAH! YOU RUN LIKE A HORSE!"

the end.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

can we all just agree that there is at least one other bright side to spam, at least for gmail users?

(yes, yes, we've already begun to discuss this)

because, yes, spam is obnoxious. but in a gmail spam folder, in addition to the ever-compelling offers for looong.er t_ools and ciialiss, one can enjoy the text-based ad, which is always a link to a recipe using the actual "food" product spam. like the ginger spam salad (serves 1 [i wonder why?], refrigerate overnight), or spam fajitas (serves 8, add extra salsa if desired), or french fry spam casserole (bake 30-40 minutes), or savory spam crescents (bake 12-15 minutes or until golden brown)...and one can reload over and over for new spammy delights.

can we further agree that talking or even thinking about spam very much has two distinct effects on most normal people:
a) one gets a bit of a tummyache
b) one begins to think of the monty python sketch about spam, the one that includes vikings marching around, singing, "spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam!"

update: the recipe i saw this morning was for spam breakfast burritos!
would you rather eat spam breakfast burritos, or ginger spam salad? discuss.