Tuesday, March 20, 2007

can we all just agree that working with ridiculous people can be amusing?

[when discussing concerns over the potentially harmful health effects of cellular telephones]

me: you should just make him a tinfoil helmet!
her: we actually talked about that, and he said that he's heard that that can make it worse.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

can we all just agree that sometimes the universe tries to even itself out in odd ways?

so the other day i was riding my bike, and it was totally beautiful outside, and i was happy. i needed to get from the right side of the right lane into the left lane so that i could turn left at the light that was coming up. so i looked over my shoulder, and saw that there was no one behind me, and started over and ALLOFTHESUDDEN there was a fancy little sports car RIGHT BEHIND ME and the driver was leaning on his horn. not just honking a little bit, but depressing it for a sustained and excessive period of time. (in case you were wondering, having a car horn right behind a person when a person is on two wheels doesn't generally make a person safer, steadier, or more likely to do what you want them to.)

then the fancy little sports car driver got tired of tailgating me while leaning on his horn, apparently, because he zoomed past me into the other lane where...wait for it...we ended up waiting for the same light together anyway. he took this opporunity to stick his entire upper body out of the window of his car, glare at me in a vile manner, and spit, "BITCH."

i just looked at him, because i was pretty unprepared for the whole situation (it was a sunny day and i had looked behind me! it wasn't my fault that he was speeding and thus well poised to sneak up behind people! sheesh!) and then the man stopped right beside me leaned down from his tall truck cab and said, "it's okay, baby" in such a kind way that it made me feel better.

but damn, dude, don't be so agro if you're in a car. some cyclists travel with their locks in their back pockets just for people like you.

can we all just agree that it's nice when cyclists and drivers can have positive interactions?

because yeah, i'll totally give you directions. and smile at you, maybe, if you're lucky. you just have to not try to harm me or call me names.

there are countless others like me.

can we all just agree that pecan pie is totally fantastic?

i think i will make it more often.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

can we all just agree that random notes to oneself are also fun and confusing?

because we've already agreed that random lists are. i found a note today that reads:

"0052D1
9:05-10:55
________
5:40-7:18"

i just thought you might want to know. don't forget to reset your clocks. goodnight.

can we all just agree that this is an extraordinarily precise measurement?

11.8125" by 11.8125". and dudes, we're not measuring parts for a space station or anything. it's a washcloth. from the dollar store. from the extraordinarily precise dollar store.

Friday, March 09, 2007

can we all just agree that peanut butter chips are a wonderful addition to brownies?

can we all just agree that this is a truly amazing recipe suggestion?

from the sunsweet prunes publication our favorite sunsweet recipes:

sweet and savory appetizers:
roly poly—stuff each prune with a water chestnut. wrap half a slice of bacon around each and place on shallow baking sheet. bake in preheated 400 degree F oven 15 minutes or until bacon is cooked through.

my mind is boggled. boggled! does this even deserve the "food" tag? how about the "gross" one? i wish i felt like i needed a tag that was called "this is an astonishing idea about how to combine otherwise perfectly respectable food products. please think about it a little bit!"

and who thought of that? and who decided to name is "roly poly"? because where i come from, roly pollies are bugs. they're kind of fun to play with, but imagining eating a giant one is not appealing.

can we all just agree that not going away for the weekend is totally glorious?

can we all just agree that dinosaurs are rad, and so is "dinosaur comics"?

you should go look at it, probably. here is one highlight from an episode called compressed relationship comics:

first dinosaur: "i notice you are attractive!"
second dinosaur: "you as well!"
f.d.: "care to put our emotional stability on the line in exchange for a chance at happiness?"
s.d.: "OK!"

sometimes i think that all the cool websites are made by canadians.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

can we all just agree that ladytron is a good idea?

i thought so.

can we all just agree that there is something seriously enjoyable about "the apollo program was a hoax," by refused*?

no, make that several things:

1. the song is beautiful.
2. the lyrics are really kind of intense, if you actually listen to them: "there is no prestige in your title, we are after your head / your new world is on fire and soon you'll be too", etc.
3. the singer has an adorable speech impediment. and a darling swedish accent too. (maybe the speech impediment has something to do with being swedish, and english being his second, third, or maybe fourth language) but there's something disarmingly charming about hearing "sabotage will set us fwee / thow a rack in the machine." yes.

*and yes, i know, refused is fucking dead and everything, and nobody's supposed to write about them anymore, but i've been listening to them lately and i like them. that is all.

can we all just agree that three with three can be good too?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

can we all just agree that scooter libby's conviction is kind of satisfying?

there will be appeals, of course, and our criminal "justice" system is so crazy that i certainly have second thoughts about it...but all the same, it's kind of exciting when it turns out that the entire bush administration isn't made of 100% pure teflon. yes. sometimes there are consequences to jacked-up actions.

ps also what grownup goes by "scooter"? those guys. sheesh.

can we all just agree that "fade into you," by mazzy star, is a fantastic song?

BUT, that the cover by pedro the lion is even better? it is achingly good. it's that kind of song.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

can we all just agree that half nelson is an excellent movie?

and that the music is also wonderful?

i saw it in the theater and i really liked it (although i was surprised i did, because i usually prefer ridiculously happy endings [amelie, i'm looking at you] and movies about crack-addicted junior high school teachers cannot have ridiculously happy endings [i'm talking princess bride-style ridiculous happiness here, dudes]) and i just watched it again today and it is excellent. i would recommend it to a friend.

can we all just agree that pulling muscles by coughing is a bummer?

dude, my side hurts so bad. at least i didn't break a rib.

Monday, March 05, 2007

can we all just agree that blogging while mostly asleep produces interesting results?

see below.

can we all just agree that i am pushing the frontiers of dream technology?

so i've been having really strange dreams for almost my whole life. (like the minotaur dream when i was in the first grade. i still remember that dream, and think about it sometimes during the day, and that it was terrifying. totally terrifying.)

it's 5:20, and i'm awake right now because of a really strange dream occurrance i just had that was really strange even for me. i was having a long dream in which i was buying things from a bike shop several times (don't ask, it made sense while it was happening) while watching someone recount (with photos) a trip to a concert that was also combined with waiting at the emergency room...except that the concert and the e-room trip were occurring not only concurrently with each other, but with the show-and-tell photo time. confused already? i'm not!

but here's the really weird part: i ended up waking myself up by crying out, because i started having two distinct dreams at once. i was going up into the balcony section of a giant theater to get someone out of my luggage, having brought overnight stuff to this concert, but then left it in one of several unused balconies. i flipped the light switch, but it was slow to turn on, and i started up the stairs anyway. i heard another person who was also ascending the stairs to the same room for which i was bound. i simultaneously experienced that person's experience of climbing the stairs, but taking a slightly different route. as two distinct people who could only hear one another and not really see each other (it was nighttime, and quite dark in the middle of the old, huge theater). one of me (the one of me most closely resembling not-asleep me) became genuinely concerned that the other of me (who was a male) might pose a threat to first me (because, you know, encountering strange men when you're all by yourself, no one knows where you are, it's dark and you can't see, and everything around you is stairs isn't exactly the ideal state of affairs.) first one of me tried to avoid second one of me, but at a stairway landing we collided, and first one of me was so afraid that i cried out in real life, and i woke up terrified. like afraid to turn on the light, afraid to walk to the bathroom, afraid to leave the bathroom terrified.

so, that is what happened. i had three dreams at once (bike shop, emergency room, concert), which didn't really surprise me, but then i was two people at once. and it wasn't like i was switching back and forth between them. i was having both experiences simultaneously, and they were completely separate. separate enough for me to be terrified by my experience of the other being, who i also was completely. and that is just crazy. also crazy is that i'm sick and my alarm isn't supposed to go off until 11:30 because i need to sleep off whatever ridiculous lung ailment i'm experiencing right now. i am going back to bed, because i'm now awake enough to not be really scared (since it was just a dream.) so, dear readers, i hope you've enjoyed my first foray into mostly-asleep rambly dream blogging. goodnight.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

¿podemos estar de acuerdo que labios compartidos tiene letras fantásticas?*

amigos con derechos / sin derecho de tenerte siempre / y siempre tengo que esperarte paciente

ay. entiendo ese problema.

*todos mis amigos mexicanos me burlan por amar a maná. uds. pueden también; no me molestará. solamente escuchará a la musica fabulosa de maná...sí.

okay, amigos que no hablan español, it's c.w.a.j.a.?. translatin' time! labios compartidos means "shared lips," and the song is about a situation of, um, friends-with-benefits,* or, as they apparently say en español, "friends with rights." (seriously, that's what amigos con derechos means!) as we all know, either from life experience, or by reading about this sort of thing in a book one time, amigos con derechos can be a really difficult way to do things. especially if you are more into the person than they are into you, which is the situation described in the song. so labios compartidos is about that. does that clear things up a little bit?

*i hate that term, btw.

more on c.w.a.j.a.?. about "labios compartidos" / más en ¿p.e.d.a.?. acerca de "labios compartidos":
the excellence of maná / la excelencia de maná
lyrics and translation / letras y traducción

¿podemos estar de acuerdo que maná es totalmente fiable...pero fantastico?

en serio...una amiga me ha dado un disco con unas canción de maná, y estaba buscando todos los títulos, pero es increible facíl. ¿la canción acerca de labios compartidos? ¡se llama labios compartidos! ¡claro!

(hispanohablantes queridos, disculpe los errores...¡hace mucho tiempo que practique!)

more on c.w.a.j.a.?. about "labios compartidos" / más en ¿p.e.d.a.?. acerca de "labios compartidos":
general comments and meaning / comentarios generales y significancia
lyrics and translation / letras y traducción

can we all just agree that being unable to breathe properly is quite tiresome?

i'm ready to stop being sick now.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

can we all just agree that there are many places where ants do not belong, but that my bed is at the top of the list?

can we all just agree that ann coulter is horrible?

i'm not sure where i stand with each of the democratic candidates for 2008, but i am totally sure that ann coulter is horrible. from the edwards campaign, comes a video that made my jaw drop. literally. if you are in the mood for total awfulness, i've got it for you right here. i gave him $25.

Friday, March 02, 2007

can we all just agree that the adventures of the greatest paws is pretty much the best blog ever?

seriously, dudes, go look at it. RIGHT NOW. i'll wait.

did you like it too? it makes me smile, every time.

can we all just agree that audra is awesome?

"it's 90210-tastic!" she says, both concisely and hilariously describing a situation (possibly accurately too, but with fewer high heels)...and meriting herself the first person-specific tag that doesn't belong to an immediate family member.

(so now, for audra's greatest hits, just click on the little teeny "audra" tag just below this post! yes!)

Thursday, March 01, 2007

can we all just agree that beautiful art mail from foreign lands is really, really exciting?

yes! it is! especially when you have some craft mail to send in return! yes!

can we all just agree that the original shape of one's knee is a reasonable, if sentimental, thing to miss?

seriously dudes, it's been more than a month since the crash, and little knee friends, especially right knee, are just not the same. i have to give extra style points to right knee for managing to locate my dramatic deep purple scar directly on top of a scar that i've had since i was eight or so—that was impressive.

all the same, i miss how they used to look (from an architectural perspective; i'm totally unconcerned about scars) and i have started to wonder if they're ever going to go back to how they were.