Friday, June 27, 2008

happy (belated) fathers' day, part 1: a website, a bookstore, and a present

happy fathers' day! i'm sorry i didn't post this' day. i was hanging out with the dad, and then being stuck at the train station, and the going to school and working and things and before i knew it, it was way after fathers' day. but! fathers' day, i'm not going to forget you.

here is a blog that you might want to look at: rad dad—a zine about fathering in dangerous times. (it is also a pretty nice little zine. also, when rad dad hosted a fathers' day event at book zoo, the best bookstore ever, it was called "i love it when you call me big papa." wonderful! [but seriously, if you're ever in oakland, GO THERE. 6395 telegraph avenue at alcatraz. it is full of the books that you've been meaning to read and they are cheap. i promise. go!])

and now your (belated) fathers' day present: from rad dad, "How to Reclaim Fathers' Day from Ties and Work"
Things Fathers (or really anyone) can do to challenge Patriarchy

1. Remind yourself and others that parenting does not equal mothering.
2. Wear your baby in a sling.
3. Take your kids with you everywhere you can—grocery stores, errands, to your place of work, Sunday afternoon celebrations, meetings
4. Believe in other men’s ability to parent. Talk to other men about fathering.
5. Vocalize your support of breastfeeding moms
6. Consider being a stay at home dad.
7. Take any parent infant class you are interested in. Be proactive in your parenting.
8. Talk to your kids about gender, class, and racial privilege. Be proactive in addressing the subtle ways these things are taught to your kids.
9. Start a new dad’s group, one where you take the baby with you.
10. Volunteer to help set up child care in the organizations you are a part of.
11. Ask others, especially non-parents, to help. Be a parent ally!
12. Make a point to ask if there are changing tables in the men’s restrooms everywhere you go.
13. Fight gendered parental roles – make dinner, do the laundry, mop the floors, clean the bathroom, watch the kids.
14. Combat images of bumbling fathers in the media. Talk to your kids as you encounter these stereotypes ala “Daddy Day Care,” “Mr. Mom,” “The Pacifier,” “Big Daddy.”
15. And, of course, write for Rad Dad as well as create your own fathering/parenting projects. And invite others to participate.

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