q: what does vladimir putin have in common with morrissey and pamela anderson?

a: they're all famous people who i have dreamed about in the last five months or so.

last week i dreamed that i was back at my elementary school (bb: on playground b, near the band portable) and i was walking up behind my friend eliza, who i haven't seen in years. i was really happy that she was there, and i decided to sneak to where she was sitting on a log and give her a kiss on the head. after i snuck up and kissed her, i turned around to see vladimir putin sitting in a golf cart with a henchman of some sort. both were looking very sour. apparently the girl-kissing-girl had disgusted them. although i was kind of surprised to see putin there, i was still really excited about catching up with an old friend.

i told him, "i love her!"

and he responded, "you love her? well then i hate her."

i really did want to stick around and argue with him, but i had to go right away because somehow we had been transported to my high school, and i had to go back to my elementary school and meet my high school debate coach in another portable classroom to play ping-pong. it was an emergency.

and that is what happened.