can we all just agree that two year olds can be hilarious?

today i was talking to the nephews' mama on the telephone, and nephew #1 was hanging out being awesome. she was telling me about an abandoned dog, and all of the sudden, nephew #1 starts singing (to the tune of "the farmer in the dell," in that funny, super-high voice that the tiny ones have) "ABANDONING THE DOG! ABANDONING THE DOG! HI-HO-THE-MERRY-O, ABANDONING THE DOG!"

the nephews' mama was pretty surprised. but nephew #1 wasn't done. once silly mommy and silly auntie sarah had stopped laughing about the first song, he switched to "THE FARMER IN THE TEA! THE FARMER IN THE TEA! HI-HO-THE-MERRY-O, THE FARMER IN THE TEA!"

and then he started making himself laugh (almost hysterically) with his own funniness. man, i wish i didn't live so far away from those folks.

the bear

the brother
the birthday
i hope it was wonderful!

here is a birthday picture that answers the age-old question: "what could be cuter than an otter?"

(the answer, obviously, being "an otter that is holding a tiny baby otter like, 'here, i got you something!'")

love you.

and speaking of greenwashing,

did you hear about the sierra club's exciting partnership with clorox? they're making environmentally friendly cleaning solutions! hooray clorox! clorox loves the earth! also, environmentalists!

(here's what's happening: the sierra club is promoting and endorsing a new line of cleaning products, manufactured by clorox, that is much more environmentally friendly than, say, bleach. [a highly competitive field, yes.] the sierra club's logo is on the packaging, and they are receiving an unspecified amount of money in exchange for their support.)

this is greenwashing. the sierra club is lending its venerable(ish) name to clorox, a company whose environmental impact and history is pretty dismal. i am not impressed.

i used to have so much respect for the sierra club. now, i don't.

update: edited to bring the snark:analysis ratio a little more equal.

can we all just agree that thomas friedman + pie = pretty satisfying?

thanks to html mencken at sadly, no! for letting us know about this. and also for using the exceptional phrase, "the altogether inadequate but still somehow satisfying flying pastry of cosmic justice" in the aforelinked post.

thomas friedman is one of my very least favorite commentators ever. and the fact that, in the last couple of months, he's decided that he's always been a huge environmentalist is even more infuriating.

i think that anyone with half a brain can see that totally unregulated global capitalism is bad for the environment (to say nothing of its effects on actual, um, you know, people), so for totally unregulated global capitalism's biggest cheerleader to simultaneously attempt to position himself as some sort of renegade, no-b.s., pragmatic, cutting-edge environmental thinker is incredibly offensive to me.

note that the pie was green. this post, from rising tide north america, explains the greenwash guerillas' specific motivations for the pieing. (hint: they have a suspicion that corporations are not necessarily going to save us from the problems that they have created.)

can we all just agree that baby bobcats are incredibly cute?

the nephews' mama and the nephews and i were driving in the middle of the forest the other day when we saw a little critter in the road. at first it looked like a large housecat, but as we got a little closer we saw that it was actually a baby bobcat. baby bobcats are ridiculously cute. photographic evidence:

note the lumpy giant paws, the puffiness in the facial region, and the general adorable, "hurnh?" expression. adorable.

i'm so glad jesse danger's back from the frozen white north.

because he is a good friend, but also because he regularly says things like this:

"my bed is bitching about me not being there when i said i would."

(and these. and these.)

more answers to your questions.

"how do i get less cranky"?

besides accidental brother bear-created haiku? bicycles, ice cream, naps, and cheese. good luck.

great minds think impractically; alike:

(b.f.h. and i are talking about boys. again.)

me: "i wish we were attracted to each other. it would solve so many problems."

b.f.h.: "i know! i was just thinking about that today!"

i've got 99 problems,

but dang, dude!

"ex=girlfriend is a REAL WITCH turned me into a dog"

(i have a hard time imagining that this actually happened to anyone. that is all.)

i've said it before, and i'll say it again:

facebook really needs a stronger option than "ignore." maybe a "not in a million years" button?

happy earth day.

to celebrate, some edward abbey for you:

"doc was gone, off to the trauma factory for an early morning bone marrow transplant. another poor kid, a little girl only ten years old, from the st. george area. acute leukemia again. plus cancer of the lymph glands. rather common down here in the southern part of the state, considering the relatively small human population. not enough numbers, of course, to serve as hard proof of anything, though the region lay downwind from the military proving grounds. the federal government denied responsibility and the federal judges, appointed to their lifetime $89,500 a year jobs by the federal government, decided—always—for the federal government. nobody knew why.

'of course,' explained doc, 'could be like they say only a statistical anomoly.'

'how come children keep dying of these statistical anomolies?'

'don't take care of themselves. don't understand probability theory. mathematical illiteracy all too common in our society. can be fatal.'

'i think mathematics is a fatal disease.'

'see what i mean?'"

-hayduke lives! p. 98

may you find things to care about, and ways to care.

can we all just agree that bamboo sheets are wonderful?

i just got a set. they're 60% cotton and 40% bamboo and 100% awesome. they are super soft and sturdy and they make me even more enthusiastic than usual about sleeping.*

also, bamboo is a much more sustainable fiber source than cotton. cotton requires a lot of water and a lot of chemicals to grow, but (as anyone who has ever tried to remove bamboo from their yard can attest), bamboo grows fast with little to no encouragement.

hooray bamboo!

*this is nearly impossible.

big questions from audra:

"when you can look in a guy's eyes and all you want to do is be his baby mama—what does that mean?"

can we all just agree that the best kind of comics are those that make you laugh out loud?

thanks, xkcd.

can we all just agree that torture is unacceptable?

honestly, it's difficult to surprise me these days. i still have the capacity for outrage, however, and here's something unsurprising and outrageous: condoleezza rice lied about authorizing torture. when is this going to stop?

the nephews' mama is nothing if not reasonable.

nephew #1 has spilled some water on the floor (which is what happens sometimes when a person is using a big boy cup.) nephews' mama is getting him a towel so that he can clean it up, when she says,

"what are you doing, [nephew #1]? we're not going to add to the water on the floor by peeing."

i love those folks.

i guess that's how it goes sometimes.

overheard in the town:

(girl is giving boy a hard time about calling his ex-girlfriend; boy is trying to explain that he still kind of cares)

boy: "she didn't give me her heart. she gave me an ass cheek."

girl: "you liked it."

while i think most facebook status updates are kind of silly (much like facebook itself), i have to hand it to this one:

"[name redacted] is wondering where her subscription to U.S. Weekly came from."

bucking the trend

it was not an unmitigated disaster. yes!

i think he has a pretty well-reasoned argument.

(overheard at the super longs)

kid: "you look like a witch!"

kid's friend's mom: "that's because i am! ah ha ha ha ha!"

kid: "wow, you are a witch! CAN YOU TURN ME INTO A DOG??? I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A DOG!!!"

kid's friend's mom: "huh? what? i'm not gonna...wait, why do you want to be a dog? you don't want to be a dog!"

kid: "yes i do! i've always wanted to be a dog, for years and years! because i like dogs! and we don't have any pets! it would be so fun! pleeeease?"

can we all just agree that birthdays are pretty nice?

seriously, y'all are wonderful.

six hundred

you should probably go read this. it might end up helping you some day. (and there is a beer can that looks like a skull there too. bonus!)

jesse brings you two important, interrelated lessons about city life.

what can i say?

"i like shopping with you. it's the funnest experience i've ever had sober."

-audra

(ps i had a lot of fun too!)

can we all just agree that dressing up can be quite nice sometimes?