because i'm still amused by your search terms...

"a diagram of how to do your hair like a movie star" (c.w.a.j.a.?. is google's #2 result)
if i could draw you a picture of you getting trims every once and awhile, finding shampoo and conditioner that really work for your hair (super moisturizing ones are totally essential to my hair health and happiness), and using a lot of bobby pins when you want it to be up, i would. but i'm tired. you'll have to use your imagination.

"reasoning behind narcoleptic daschunds" (c.w.a.j.a.?. is google's #3 result)
duh, jesse totally already explained this one. science.