totally unapologetic dreamblogging, this time

last night it was about the complicated varieties of possible manifestations of the souls of the departed. represented by dinosaurs. someone was explaining it all to me and showing me these little plastic dinosaurs (brother bear: totally like the ones we had! but a little bit bigger, and no dogosaurus, sadly) and depending on the circumstances of the person's passing, they would come into different dinosaurs. sometimes when things changed for them (when they had delivered the message that they needed to, or when they got angry) they would change colors or appearances.

and if the dinosouls needed to get the attention of the living, they had options: for example, one of the dinosouls could obtain and affix a unicorn horn suitable for poking people, and another could steal a horse tail which it could then control sort of like a cow tail, and they could swat or tickle people with it.

and now you know.

can we all just agree that if you're kind of tall, and if you're going to a rock and roll show, wearing a bowler hat is a jerky thing to do?

seriously, dude.

keep asking, and i'll answer eventually / sigue preguntando, y contestaré eventualmente

for you, the translation of "labios compartidos" / para tí, el traducción de "labios compartidos"

my love, if i am under the swing of your legs,
if i am sunk in the swing of [your] hips,
this is heaven, it's my heaven.

AMOR MIO SI ESTOY DEBAJO DEL VAIVEN DE TUS PIERNAS,
SI ESTOY HUNDIDO EN UN VAIVEN DE CADERAS,
ESTO ES EL CIELO, ES MI CIELO.

escaped love, you you take me, you leave me, you squeeze me and you throw me aside,
you go to other skies and you return like the hummingbird,
you have me like a dog at your feet.

AMOR FUGADO, ME TOMAS, ME DEJAS, ME EXPRIMES Y ME TIRAS A UN LADO ,
TE VAS A OTROS CIELOS Y REGRESAS COMO LOS COLIBRIS,
ME TIENES COMO UN PERRO A TUS PIES.

once more my foolish mouth, returns to fall on your skin,
your mouth returns to me and causes,
i return to fall, from your breasts on your pair of feet,

OTRA VEZ MI BOCA INSENSATA, VUELVE A CAER EN TU PIEL,
VUELVE A MI TU BOCA Y PROVOCA,
VUELVO A CAER, DE TUS PECHOS EN TUS PAR DE PIES,

shared lips, divided lips, my love,
i can't share your lips, that share the deceit, and share my days, and the pain,
already i can't share your lips,
oooh love, oooh love...shared.

LABIOS COMPARTIDOS, LABIOS DIVIDIDOS, MI AMOR,
YO NO PUEDO COMPARTIR TUS LABIOS, QUE COMPARTO EL ENGAÑO, Y COMPARTO MIS DIAS, Y EL DOLOR,
YA NO PUEDO COMPARTIR TUS LABIOS,
OOOH AMOR, OOOH AMOR...COMPARTIDO.

mutant love, friends with rights [friends with benefits, to all you english-speakers out there] without the right to have you always,
and i always have to wait patiently, the piece that i touch of you,
lightening of alcohol, the voices only cry in the sun
and in my mouth in tortured calls you undress, angel fairy, later you leave.

AMOR MUTANTE, AMIGOS CON DERECHO Y SIN DERECHO DE TENERTE SIEMPRE,
Y SIEMPRE TENGO QUE ESPERAR PACIENTE, EL PEDAZO QUE ME TOCA DE TI, RELAMPAGOS DE ALCOHOL, LAS VOCES SOLAS LLORAN EN EL SOL
Y EN MI BOCA EN LLAMAS TORTURADA TE DESNUDAS ANGEL HADA LUEGO TE VAS.

once again my foolish mouth, returns to fall on your skin of honey
your mouth returns to me, hurts, i return to fall from your breasts to your pair of feet.

OTRA VEZ MI BOCA INSENSATA, VUELVE A CAER EN TU PIEL DE MIEL
VUELVE A MI TU BOCA, DUELE , VUELVO A CAER DE TUS PECHOS EN TUS PAR DE PIES.

shared lips, divided lips my love, i can't share your lips,
that share the deceit and share my days and the pain,
already i can't share your lips, that a ray breaks me [this is similar to the english phrase, "cross my heart and hope to die"] that i am buried by forgetting, my love,
but i can't share your lips anymore, share your kisses, shared lips.

LABIOS COMPARTIDOS, LABIOS DIVIDIDOS MI AMOR, YO NO PUEDO COMPARTIR TUS LABIOS,
QUE COMPARTO EL ENGAÑO Y COMPARTO MIS DIAS Y EL DOLOR,
YA NO PUEDO COMPARTIR TUS LABIOS, QUE ME PARTA UN RAYO, QUE ME ENTIERRE EL OLVIDO, MI AMOR,
PERO NO PUEDO MAS COMPARTIR TUS LABIOS, COMPARTIR TUS BESOS, LABIOS COMPARTIDOS

i love you with all of my faith without measure,
i love you even though you are shared,
your lips have control.

TE AMO CON TODA MI FE SIN MEDIDA,
TE AMO AUNQUE ESTES COMPARTIDA,
TUS LABIOS TIENEN EL CONTROL.

i love you with all of my faith without measure,
i love you even though you are shared,
and you continue with the control.
TE AMO CON TODA MI FE SIN MEDIDA,
TE AMO AUNQUE ESTES COMPARTIDA,
Y SIGUES TU CON EL CONTROL.

more on c.w.a.j.a.?. about "labios compartidos" / más en ¿p.e.d.a.?. acerca de "labios compartidos":
the excellence of maná / la excelencia de maná
general comments and meaning / comentarios generales y significancia

ask (repeatedly), and i'll probably get around to answering.

"how do you say 'stupid' in spanish?"

"tonto," if the person, object, or concept to which you are referring is masculine. "tonta," if the person, object, or concept to which you are referring is feminine.

"estupido" and "estupida," while tempting quasi-cognates, are far stronger and more offensive than "stupid," and should be avoided by beginners at insulting things in spanish. don't rush into it; you've got your whole life and a fantastic array of profanity and insults ahead of you.

p.s.a.

"okay.
jogging is a good replacement for narcotics.
good to know."
-audra

can we all just agree that time with brother bear is pretty much beyond compare?

last weekend it was brother bear, sarah, and mamacita time. this weekend it's brother bear, sarah, and the dad time. in between, however, was herman@ time. so wonderful. i love you, dude.

five years too many: another take

from the wildly misnamed stoopid stuff, mikey (a smart dude, a veteran, and one straight shooter [probably literally, too]): I'm back and I'm PISSED.

please go read it.

and thanks, t4, for the tip.

five years too many.

today is the fifth anniversary of the beginning of the iraq war. i'm taking part in the iraq war blogswarm, and when trying to decide what to write, i took a look at their excellent and reasonable suggestions:

You are encouraged to write against the war from a variety of perspectives. The war is a huge problem, and that makes it an enormous subject for blogging. Here are some things you might want to consider if you are having difficulty making up your mind:

• Attend an anti-war event and report on it.

• Interview military families and veterans.


• NEW IDEA: Blog reactions to Pacifica's Live Radio Coverage of the Winter Soldier testimony by Iraq Vets would be of great interest. Coverage from the event in Washington, DC would be great too. This event deserves all the coverage it can possibly get.


• Examine current plans and the rather shadowy oil laws as well as long term military bases.


• Compare and contrast candidates stated intentions on what they claim they will do with their records.


• Publicize online action alerts by pro-peace organizations.

• Discuss the economic impacts of the war on people in Iraq and/or western countries.


• Discuss the casualties on both sides.


• Explore issues and impacts often ignored by most media outlets


• Analyze war propaganda."

but then i realized that i don't have the heart or the stomach to write a carefully researched analytical piece on the implications of the war (although i am grateful to the people who can.)

i just want you to think of the people you love best: your kids, your nephews and nieces, your parents, your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/husband/wife, your best friends, your grandparents, and then i want you to imagine them dead. killed by a bomb that fell on their bed while they were sleeping, blown up by a suicide bomber while they were shopping for food, shot in the head by a soldier because they didn't understand the command to stop, ripped apart by an improvised explosive devise that their tank ran over, burned to death in an explosion after a rocket hit their vehicle, tortured to death by militia members or american soldiers, wasted away completely by diarrhea from some water-borne illness, caught in the crossfire between someone and someone else...

stop and think about it. that tiny body you bathed and dressed and cuddled, broken. the form beside which you curled up every night, burned beyond recognition. the son who grew up to be a man in the army, reduced to a sealed rubber bag within a sealed wooden box, draped with a flag.

if you have been fortunate enough to escape the agony of losing someone to this war, thank god or the universe or fate or dumb luck that you were born where you were, that you know the people you know, and don't know the people you don't. because there are mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, girlfriends, boyfriends, best friends whose lives will never be the same. and you're not so different from them. you're just lucky.

i can appreciate the importance of the environmental costs, the geostrategic implications, the infuriating illegality, the economic insanity, and maddening feeling of inevitability that accompany this abhorrent war. but today, i don't want to talk about them. those are concerns for another day; they take us away from the basic point: loved ones are dying.

so call congress, write a letter, give money to anti-war candidates, the afsc, unicef; talk to people about the war; don't forget it. but today, stop and imagine your most precious ones in the places of these most precious ones. and think of it when you start to forget about the war, or when someone tries to convince you that the war is "necessary."

i feel sick. you should too.

can we all just agree that a brand new, totally clean windshield provides for a dramatic driving experience?

but that if someone hadn't smashed your old, perfectly good one for you, that would've been okay too?

here is another place on the 'tubes that is worth your attention:

thebutlerofburque. mike butler, who is both rad and radical, has started a blog. rad and radical mike knows a lot about quite a few important things, among them: farm workers' issues, the CIW, and the IWW. (also, he appreciates pedro the lion. in short, he is totally excellent.) check it out.

my favorite one is, "barack obama won your alleycat."

other honorable mentions:

"barack obama trued your wheel."

"barack obama filmed your skid."

"barack obama got her phone number for you."

"barack obama took off your brake."

go see.

can we all just agree that hearts are complicated things?

it's good to talk to three year olds. they know important things.

"CAVEMEN ARE EXTINCT."

how many?

these are tough times for cyclists all over the place. i know people who've lost loved ones in the last couple of weeks. please be careful. slow down, look out, remember that everyone on the road (no matter how they make you feel) is someone's baby.

and if you don't bike regularly, give it a try. ride somewhere you usually drive. it's good exercise, you might like it, it will prove to you that biking isn't nearly as difficult as you thought...but most importantly, it will make you realize how cars look when you're on a bike.

and hug your kids.

dude, brain, i already said we were quitting!

i really don't see why you found it necessary to give me a nightmare that included all of the following (note: list is not exhaustive):

pamela anderson
pamela anderson dying
traveling to some unnamed south american jungle
my childhood home
windows that wouldn't lock
my current bathroom
skiing
ninjas (sidenote: wtf?!?)
my friend and her little brother
pancakes

as far as my dreams go, this one could have been a lot more interesting, but it sure did scare the bejezus out of me. i woke up terrified at 6:30 this morning (yeah, i know, lots of grownups wake up earlier than that on purpose. thanks for mentioning it) and i was scared to open my eyes, scared to turn on my lamp, scared to open my bedroom door, scared to walk to the bathroom, scared to open the bathroom door when i was done, scared to walk into my room, and scared to close my eyes again. you may have noticed that dreams sometimes really do affect me, but i think it's been about a year since i was frightened like this by a dream. (yeah, it was totally the bike shop/concert one.)

i think it was work. that, and the delicious cream puff i ate after dinner last night.

can we all just agree that quitting that job i hate is a good plan?

because then i won't have to go there anymore. also, i will probably stop dreaming about it every night, which i've been doing pretty consistently (even on the weekends!) for many weeks now. and then i can focus on more interesting, important dream topics. like being at a concert and a bike shop at the same time, being bedeviled by a spiteful wall in my bedroom, vacuuming, solving international horse-related crimes, mocking scientologists, david bowie's package, and rescuing tiny wee baby giraffes. you know, all the usual stuff.

scientific facts.

for you. from jesse. yes!

yeah, i'm pretty sure that was him too.

me: blah blah blah boy

jesse: "like the old saying - all janky things must come to an end
i think lincoln said that"

and this is what happens when you antagonize me too much.

to the left is my countdown calendar. i made it for the job that i hate. i made it over the weekend of january 25-27, which was kind of a bummer time in general. mamacita was visiting, which was great, but things with the heart weren't so good, and we had planned to go away for the weekend and that was a spectacular failure, and i was feeling pretty crummy in general, and one of the reasons for that was the job i hate. so i decided that, although i was afraid of being a quitter and afraid of admitting i didn't want to do something so much that i felt like i couldn't, i had to pick a concrete date to quit.

i thought about it carefully, and then decided that i would stay until the end of may. in my mind, my countdown calendar would fit on one 4x6 index card (i love index cards, by the way. love them.) so i got my favorite sharpie and started to write down dates. and then it took two index cards. and then i cried because the end of may seemed so far away and the prospect of staying that long seemed so terrible.

later on, i realized that i could not possibly stay until the end of may. so i decided on the end of april, got out the scissors, sliced off may, and started to feel better. but then things kept getting worse and worse at work, so i lost almost all of april. and then, in a meeting between me and all three of my bosses, where everyone was upset with me for things i could not possibly prevent or control, one of my bosses angrily demanded to know if i had a phone call "in writing." yes. a phone call. in writing. she wanted to know if i had a phone call in writing. it's funny now, but at the time i just felt so defeated. the next work day was way worse, and mamacita and i had a long conversation, and then i cut off all of april, circled march 3, and gave my two weeks' notice. march 14 is the day, after which i will be poorer and happier.

jesse and i disapprove of your moustaches.

"maybe stashes look better on hunks of ice floating around in darkness"
-jesse

can we all just agree that doing taxes is the suck?

i've been trying for a couple hours now, and i have to have it done by monday. first i couldn't find a form that i needed, so i spent a lot of time trying to figure out some other way to get that information, then i found the form, but then i realized i couldn't use the 1040ez, so i printed the 1040a, and then as soon as that was done printing, i realized i couldn't use that either, so i printed the 1040, and at that point my printer ran out of ink. i have 25% of a 1040, but i don't think that will be enough. so then i decided that i should stop being such a grumpy retro tax-filer-on-paper and check out the free e-file option, but i can't find one that is actually secure (or at least one that doesn't have an unsettling red slash through the padlock icon.)

and i still don't have all my 1099s, and i just talked to someone who was saying that i might want to consider itemizing work-related deductions for my 1099s since that's cooler than paying 30%, which definitely sounds like something i should consider, but dang dude argh. i really understand why people pay tax preparers. also, thanks, the federal government, for making this so complicated.

update: still cranky! i found an online tax service that didn't sketch me out too much and that had a secure connection, and used that until...it turned out that i really do need those 1099s to be able to finish it.

so then i ended up going to radio shack where i had to fend off the most aggressive saleperson i've seen in person recently...seriously, i don't want to buy the color cartridge too. yes, i know which one it needs. no, i don't want it. no. really. i don't. yes, i am running out of color ink too. no, i'm not buying the color cartridge today. (or anything else from here, ever.)

i printed the 1040 and then spent a few hours trying to figure out how to fill it out. i think i did it wrong. i hope i did it wrong, because if i did it right, i paid a lot of money and still owe a lot more.

but the point of doing it now was so that i could submit my fafsa in time. and fafsas can be corrected, so i put in my estimate and found another reason to hope that i'd miscalculated my taxes when i learned that i'm not eligible for the pell grant, which i had been hoping for.

but now i'm done with that part of things, anyway, and i'll get to the re-done taxes soon. hopefully with mamacita on my side.